THE BUMRUSH

According to this article, “toilet paper researchers” at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute have recently created the world’s first 3-ply toilet-paper. Yes, that is correct. There are such things as toilet paper researchers and they have been busy like Frankenstein making obscene toilet-paper creations in their horrible labs. It actually reminds me of this old Onion article: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades

We quietly await to hear news about the world’s first 4-ply toilet-paper...

Labels: humor, news, nonsense

The Financial Times recently reported that Nintendo generated more profit per employee in 2007 than any other company in the world, including Google and Goldman Sachs. Nintendo made $1.6 million per employee last year, compared to $1.2 million for Goldman Sachs and just over $600,000 for Google. Nintendo is certainly helped by the fact that they outsource a lot of their production and only employ about 3,000 workers.

The average salary at Nintendo: $90,000. Now might be a good time to ask for that raise.

Labels: video games