THE BUMRUSH

Aisha Tyler Can Talk to me about Video Games All Night Long

2011-08-23T21:15:00.002-04:00

Aisha Tyler (of um Friends fame I guess) was recently on the Nerdist podcast talking about stuff that gets geeky dudes hot under the collar - video games and website design. Ok, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. Tyler, who has appeared in various television shows and movies, is a hardcore video game fan (her favorite game is Halo according to thhttp://www2.blogger.com/img/blank.gife all-trusting Wikipedia). She's also gone semi-nude in the name of skin cancer research.

Both Tyler and the Nerdist's Chris Hardwick (of, ah, Singled Out fame I guess) are two people who should be much more famous than they are given their relative talents and work ethics. If you listen to comedic podcasts and haven't given the Nerdist a try, I highly recommend it. It's always entertaining and often laugh-out-loud funny.

Oooooh No: Macho Man Randy Savage Dies

2011-05-21T05:55:00.004-04:00

It was a sad day indeed when news came out that former WWF and WCW wrestler Savage died. According to news reports, Savage, who was 58, "lost control of his Jeep Wrangler in Pinellas County on Florida's Gulf Coast around 9:25 a.m. Friday. The Jeep veered, went over a concrete median divider, crossed eastbound lanes and smashed into a tree."

It was also reported that Savage may have had a heart attack immediately before the accident, which is crazy, because we all know that steroids don't have any negative side effects.

Savage, a two-time WWF and four-time WCW champion, was one of the great wrestling showmen who could also put on a show in the ring. Sadly, his legacy will likely be that of Slim Jim endorser rather than one of the great pro wrestlers of his generation.

The Plumber Defense

2010-12-08T19:33:00.003-05:00

What should you do when the police bust your illegal strip club for which you hold no permits? Why use the classic plumber defense:

Loud music could be heard coming from the club Sunday shortly before 1 a.m. When police went inside they found a disco ball and night club lighting were on…

The owner of the club, Lawrence Ferrante, was not there but a man by the name of Adam Goodwin was and said he was in charge. After talking with a lawyer, Goodwin told police that the men at the club were plumbers working on emergency repairs and that the women were just bringing them coffee.

Police said they were unable to identify any licensed plumbers or any evidence of repair work being done.

Of course, it looks a little suspicious that the club owner hired dozens of plumbers to work at 1 in the morning, but hey, it's a tough economy and people are looking for work.

But that wasn't even the best line of the article. This was:

A woman at the club, Lacreshia Edgerly, 27, was arrested on an outstanding warrant on charges of negotiating a worthless instrument.

Merrill Lynch With their Finger on the Pulse of the Average American

2010-10-28T11:23:00.004-04:00

Great study by Merrill Lynch: Rich Americans feel better off.

According to the article:

Some 41 percent of Americans with at least $250,000 of investable assets say their finances are in better shape than last year, with 37 percent reporting no change. Three out of four of the 1,000 people surveyed said they were confident their finances would improve in the coming year.

So rich people are in good shape. Whew, that is good to hear. And on the positive side, I really have lot of time to think about this study because I don't have a job to go to.

Oh No, Emo Superman

2010-10-26T19:06:00.001-04:00

Hedo Rick

2010-07-21T20:51:00.003-04:00

Courtesy of Jezebel (not a site I read regularly, I swear) comes the greatest Baby Boomer since Disco Stu. That’s right, Hedo Rick wants some of that rippin' and tearing’. That is, after he gets down with that fine ass first.

Really makes you want to take a trip to Hedonism II in Jamaica, huh?

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Interview at the Brookfield Zoo

2010-07-21T09:33:00.000-04:00

Bill Bixby was such the man that he didn't even mind giving an interview to Clint Howard in 1977.

Wonder Woman Still Hot at 69

2010-06-30T14:29:00.006-04:00

For the first time in her 69-year history, Wonder Woman will be getting a significant costume change. And by significant, I mean she’ll be getting pants. Via The New York Times, new DC writer J. Michael Straczynski (he of Babylon 5 fame) said the following in an email statement:

“She’s been locked into pretty much the exact same outfit since her debut in 1941... If you’re going to make a statement about bringing Wonder Woman into the 21st century, you need to be bold and you need to make it visual. I wanted to toughen her up, and give her a modern sensibility.”

Modern sensibility? Pants are so 1997. The old Wonder Woman outfit is classic, in my opinion, as clearly demonstrated by Linda Carter.

Really, it doesn’t get any better than that. The time to put Wonder Woman in pants was 10 years ago, if ever a time existed. But now? Classic is new again, and the old Wonder Woman outfit is classic.

BUMRUSH demerits for the new redesign.

Jason Bateman Wants You to Know He’s Better than You

2010-06-30T09:08:00.003-04:00

Jason Bateman – of Arrested Development fame – failed to make some new friends in LA last week after cutting approximately 2,000 people in line waiting for the new iPhone 4. Bateman at first joined the regular line to wait with the rest of the peons, but was then led into the store in front of everyone else by a group of employees. The nerd-rage quickly followed:

“Everyone literally started booing and hissing...” And Bateman’s reaction? “He put his head down,”

From another account of the situation:

“I heard commotion in the back. I thought someone was fighting,” Mayhew said. “Then he strolls right on by with the Genius Bar guys and suddenly people in my area started to yell, 'What the hell is going on?'" Mayhew said the murmurs escalated with “passive-aggressive anger.”

Nothing says nerd rage like passive-aggressive anger... Bateman had a different account of the event via his twitter account, but then later apologized for his actions, because you know, he knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he could care less about offending your feelings, because he’s rich, famous and now has a new iPhone. And your still waiting in line.

Tom Cruise Scares People Away From Theaters

2010-06-24T22:59:00.004-04:00

Life has not been great for Tom Cruise recently. He jumped on Oprah’s couch, went nutso on the Today Show, played a German WWII Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg like he was Maverick in Top Gun, and was dumped by Paramount Pictures (among many other things). And now his latest movie with Cameron Diaz called “Knight and Day” looks like it’s going to bomb hard, making only $3.8 million dollars in its opening day.

You can’t completely blame Cruise on this one. The movie has been getting surprisingly decent reviews online – something akin to one of those classic summer popcorn movies with good action and surprisingly believable chemistry between Cruise and co-star Cameron Diaz.

Unfortunately, Cruise’s Q-rating is lower the CEO of BP right now, and it appears people don’t want to watch his Scientologist-loving ass on the big screen any more than I want to see the painful devolution of Adam Sandler (Grown Ups… really? REALLY?)

Despite the intense marketing campaign (Including begging Apple for help), “Knight and Day” is expected to gross in the neighborhood of $20-$25 million dollars this weekend. That isn’t a complete disaster compared to something like Jonah Hex, but considering the production costs were around $117 million (with a crazy marketing push on top of that) this movie is going to have a really hard time breaking even.

Jonah Hex Bombs, and Not in a Good Way

2010-06-21T14:41:00.001-04:00

With a career resurgence over the past couple years, Josh Brolin’s career is as hot as it’s ever been. You figure that he can pick and choose his projects right now. So why not try to bring DC comic book character Jonah Hex to the big screen? Best case scenario, you’re the new Iron Man and you have to start heating your home with stacks of $100 bills because you don’t know what else to do with all the money you’ll be making. Worst case scenario? Your movie bombs with a $5 million opening weekend, slightly ahead of Iron Man 2, which has been in theaters for 2 months.

Jonah Hex, which was plagued by questionable production choices, is apparently an incoherent mess of a movie. But at 81 minutes in length, at least it gets where it’s going in a hurry.

Of course, the real issue here is where does Megan Fox go from here? I anxiously wait on the edge of my seat to hear the answer, but I just want to throw out the fact that my bed is always open.

Representative Joe Barton to BP: Our Bad

2010-06-17T12:40:00.001-04:00

In an impressive judo-like maneuver, Republican representative Joe Barton apologized to BP executives today while they were testifying before the House Energy and Commerce Committee about the oil spill which was their fault to begin with. According to Barton:

"I'm not speaking for anybody in the House of Representatives but myself, but I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown. In this case a $20 billion shakedown.... I apologize. I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong, is subject to some sort of political pressure that is, again, in my words — amounts to a shakedown, so I apologize."

So to recap, Barton apologized to BP because the US government was mean to them after BP caused the one of the worst environmental catastrophes in the history of the world. Really, that’s the position he decided to take on this tragedy.

Shortly afterwards, Barton apologized to Adolf Hitler for the way the US Government treated Germany during World War II and Osama Bin Laden for the fact that the US tried to hunt him down and capture him after September 11th.

Obama Sings Kick Ass Song

2010-06-16T19:15:00.005-04:00

There I was, wandering across the inter-webs, desperate for entertainment but finding none. Shall I check Drudge for the latest depressing headline about BP's ineptitude? Yawn. Why not check in on ItsProbablyTrue.com? I hear those fellas have like, 10 inch ding dongs. Nope, I'm just not in the mood for a sausage party. How about I swing by IMDB and look up some movie quotes? Nah, I already know them all. And then I stumble across this jewel from the good people at autotunethenews.com.

I have strayed off the edge of the map and there be monsters here...but there's also some real funny shit, too. Check it out.

Super Mario Bros Using Post It Notes

2010-06-13T08:15:00.001-04:00

A stop motion animated Mario. Fricken awesome. I want to play.

Signs of the Apocalypse #12

2010-06-13T08:09:00.001-04:00

Khloe Kardashian masks have become and acceptable form of taunting at NBA playoff games. You know, because her husband is Laker Lamar Odom, who is like the 5th best player on the team. And seeing thousands of people wear a mask of your wife in the stands is supposed to make you feel… weird? Creeped out? Sad? Sorry for all the fans who subjected themselves to this? Cause that’s the vibe I’m getting.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: The Incredible Hulk Returns

2010-06-09T14:18:00.004-04:00

As a child of the 1980's, I have fond memories of the TV movie "The Incredible Hulk Returns", which was played on a non-stop loop back in the day. In the movie, Thor makes an appearance as comic relief to the Hulk. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Still, I ate it up at the time as a 10 year old.

Ask and you shall receive Christina Hendricks

2010-06-05T22:27:00.004-04:00

The band Broken Bells (a side project of Danger Mouse and James Mercer of The Shins) scored big time recently with their latest video for “The Ghost Inside” by getting the absolutely smoking hot Mad Men star Christina Hendricks to play a gorgeous android in their video.

How did the relatively unknown band make it happen? They simply asked her to do it and she said yes. Fuck dude. That's all it takes. i really have to start reevaluating my life.

Here is the video if you are interested in seeing the final product.

Dennis Hopper Passes Away

2010-05-31T21:02:00.004-04:00

Actor Dennis Hopper passed away this week at age 74 from complications due to prostate cancer. Say what you will about the always-eccentric often-manic drug fueled actor, but he certainly played life by his rules, whatever the hell they were.

Critics point to Easy Rider, Apocalypse Now, and Blue Velvet as the high water marks in a career that spanned half a century (hell, he’s still actually working as his voice is set to appear in an animated film this fall called Alpha and Omega); but for me it doesn’t get any better than Hopper’s turn as the alcoholic assistant coach Shooter in Hoosiers. Talk about redemption.

Alright, boys, this is the last shot we got! We're gonna run the picket fence at 'em! Jimmy, you're solo right! Everett, Merle should be open on the other side of that fence! Now, boys, don't get caught watchin' the paint dry!

The HORRIFYING truth!

2010-05-30T11:32:00.002-04:00

Mike Drucker over at GameSpy has unearthed some shocking facts that change the game (literally). We at THE BUMRUSH feel you need to know:

READ THIS!

Top Ten List of Things We Could Use To Plug the BP Oil Leak

2010-05-26T13:10:00.000-04:00

10. My enormous biceps
9. Your mom
8. Biden's big mouth
7. Biggs' enormous shoe collection
6. A sack of kittens
5. Simon Cowell's ego
4. A stack of mimes
3. Michael Moore
2. The Pimp's box of thongs

...and the # 1 thing we could use to plug the BP Oil Leak:
1. Sean Connery's right thumb (ie - The Presidio)

Introducing It's Probably True

2010-05-26T05:21:00.007-04:00

Celebrity news heard from somebody who knows somebody, so you know, it's probably true. Anyway, they're looking into it.

Speaking of that, did you know Chuck Norris does NOT know any martial arts? It was actually his twin brother Sheppie Norris who starred in Return of the Dragon with Bruce Lee. When Sheppie died on the set of Breaker! Breaker! In 1976, Chuck stepped in to finish the movie for his late brother. If you watch the fighting scenes closely, you can see where they used a body double in the movie. The rest as they say is history. Chuck took over the role of American superhero from his brother and became the man we know today selling total gyms and kicking Texas ass. Don’t believe me? Just watch Sidekicks again. Clearly the man does not know any karate.

Female Viagra

2010-05-25T22:20:00.002-04:00

Yes please.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Incredible Hulk TV Intro

2010-05-06T20:09:00.003-04:00

There has never been a better intro to a TV show than this. Ok, maybe the A-Team was a little better.

Fun with Captions

2010-04-30T14:33:00.003-04:00

Stumbled on a great site today called The Big Caption, which puts captions on stuff from the Big Picture to great effect.

The Trustworthiness of Beards

2010-04-21T16:40:00.002-04:00

The beard trustworthiness scale. The Amish Beard gets screwed in my opinion.

Top 10 Easy Ways to Make Money and Become Rich

2010-03-31T05:16:00.012-04:00

…if you were in a movie.

1. Find it in a briefcase

2. Be born into royalty

3. Become a computer hacker

4. Marry into it

5. Steal it

6. Prostitute your wife

7. Hire someone to kidnap your wife for ransom

8. Con some old people

9. Inherit it

10. Take over a drug empire

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Amanda Seyfried

2010-03-29T16:10:00.009-04:00

You may know Amanda Seyfried from the “movies” Mamma Mia! or maybe Jennifer's Body... or if you are a heterosexual male, then from absolutely nothing other than being smoking hot. She got her start on a couple of soap operas (As the World Turns and then All My Children if you are being gay again), but officially got her start in the motion pictures in the 2004 Lindsay Lohan classic Mean Girls.

Then after bouncing around between movie and TV projects, she got a lead role in Mamma Mia! and then got to lesbo it up with Megan Fox in Jen nifer's Body, a movie described by one IMDB reviewer as “Neither scary nor particularly funny.”

Like any good actress, Seyfried road to respectability within her craft has taken her straight through nudetown. In her new movie Chloe, Seyfried shows plenty of her assets and shares some more lesbian hotness with co-star Julianne Moore. From the reviews, it looks like the movie sucks, but Amanda certainly does not. Or Maybe she does, I don’t know...

20 Homemade Things That Shouldn’t Be Home-Made

2010-03-29T14:14:00.002-04:00

A list of 20 things that should not be macgyvered at home. It's a list I happen to disagree with, because everything is better when it's made with love.

Corey Haim Dead at 38

2010-03-12T05:49:00.003-05:00

You know the story - and sadly it's one we've seen before and will see again. The heyday of Haim was ever so slightly before my formative years, but man, how could you be swayed by the power of the Corey/Corey combo?

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Chasing Perfection A&E Biography

2010-03-10T12:57:00.002-05:00

One of the great things about living in the 21st century is our ability to catalog media and organize it in such as way that it easily accessible by anyone who is interested in learning more about a specific subject, such as the great Bill Bixby.

For example, the Bill Bixby A&E Biography called Chasing Perfection is currently available online. It was created in 2001 and chronicles Bixby's life both in his professional success and personal demons. Here is part 1 of the biography.

Lindsay Lohan sues E-Trade over 'milkaholic' in talking baby commercial

2010-03-10T12:54:00.001-05:00

In the world of frivolous lawsuits this one takes the cake:

Lindsay Lohan apparently filed a $100 million lawsuit earlier this week against E-Trade for a Super Bowl commercial that they aired about a milkaholic baby named Lindsay. She (and by that I mean her lawyer) citied that she is a one-named celebrity along the likes of Oprah, Madonna, or Borat and that the ad used her name to parody her life and profit off of it.

I mean, how could you not have that opinion after watching the ad? If I had one wish in this world, it'd be that Lindsay Lohan go back a few years to when she was just hot and didn't have to comment on what was going on in this world... and that she and I were friends with benefits. Very dirty benefits.

Kathryn Bigelow Makes Me Think of Inappropriate Things

2010-03-09T17:07:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Director Kathryn Bigelow for taking home a best director Oscar this weekend for her movie, The Hurt Locker. She is apparently the first woman to take home the best director award ever, which I have heard about approximately a thousand times in the past couple of days. It also means if you had “Best Director” over “President of the United States” in the “which will a woman do first pool”, you can now claim your prize.

I actually saw The Hurt Locker just the other day in my marathon-like preparation for the Oscar awards ceremony. It was a very good movie, certainly kept me on the edge of my seat for at least the first half of it, but at no time during my viewing did I think that it was best picture material. I mean, as much as people like to bash on Avatar (and it did have its problems for sure), twenty years from now which movie are people going to remember?

Yeah, I thought so. I believe the Hurt Locker will eventually end up in the A Beautiful Mind or American Beauty category of pictures that do not age well at all. Especially when you read about what actual Iraq War veterans think about the movie.

Over course, the real question on my mind through all of this is: what did ex-husband James Cameron think about Bigelow’s big win?

When Words Can't Explain

2010-03-09T16:29:00.001-05:00

Seriously, words cannot begin to explain...

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Interview with Lou Ferrigno

2010-03-09T16:23:00.001-05:00

An interview with Bixby and Lou Ferrigno in 1988 on some local news show called Live Noonday. Worth a view just for Ferrigno ‘s mullet and some sweet daytime news special effects.

Vaya Con Dios Patrick Swayze

2009-09-21T11:40:00.001-04:00

It was a sad day last week when the world lost the great Patrick Swayze to pancreatic cancer. There were few actors in the 80‘s and 90’s with the insane range of roles that Swayze had. From a bank robbing surfer, to a dancing instructor at a camp in the 60’s, to a Chippendale dancer, to the best fucking cleaner in the business. Swayze could do it all.

“All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. “

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: The Magician Music Video

2009-07-22T09:31:00.001-04:00

Watch Bill Bixby get his man on while a little Garbage plays in the background.

Guess the Celebrity

2009-07-21T08:54:00.000-04:00

Free Transformers Stuff

2009-06-14T07:36:00.003-04:00

Maybe you loved the first Transformers movie. Or maybe like me, you were disappointed with every single part of the movie other than the huge giant robots. But it doesn't really matter, because the second installment is 10 days away and everyone is in the mood to give away free stuff.

That most definitely includes Linkin Park, who wants to give you a custom Fender Squier guitar in honor of their new single that will appear on the movie's soundtrack.

This one will take a little work (something I'm usually against) but USA TODAY wants you to design a brand-new Transformer for them. The winner will get... uh.. interviewed by the paper? I guess.

MovieSet is giving away the Transformers Xbox game as well as an Optimus Prime Deluxe Action Figure.

The good stuff: Hot Topic (my clothing store of choice) wants to send you and a friend - provided you have one -to the premiere of Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen in LA on June 26th.

Goodbye to David Carradine

2009-06-14T06:18:00.004-04:00

A bumrush goodbye to our favorite lunch pail actor in the movie making business today, David Carradine, who died on June 3rd while filming a movie in Thailand. While the final cause of death has not been officially released, it's likey that he died the way every warm blooded movie star should go: hanging naked in a closet with a rope tied around his neck and penis after a failed attempt at auto-erotic asphyxiation.

That's only one of the reasons why we love David Carradine. Despite the Bruce Lee-was-created-the-idea-for-Kung-Fu-controversy, Carradine took the original Kung Fu television series, owned it, and parlayed that into a career full of movies and television appearances that almost no one can remember other than the Kill Bill movies. The man made movies the way I eat: fast, dirty, and immediately onto something else.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Outakes

2009-04-07T14:14:00.002-04:00

Bill Bixby acting silly and screwing up scenes. The Youtube title says it is from The Incredible Hulk, but it looks like the outakes are from various Bixby productions. It's still all Bixby and all good.

How Not to Give Someone a Complement about their Sunglasses

2009-04-07T14:00:00.004-04:00

I bought some sweet aviator sunglasses the other day. When I tried them on for my wife, she said I looked like Erik Estrada.

Yikes.

All Your Stalls Are Belong to Us: The Toilet Paper Wars Have Begun

2008-09-18T13:46:00.003-04:00

According to this article, “toilet paper researchers” at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute have recently created the world’s first 3-ply toilet-paper. Yes, that is correct. There are such things as toilet paper researchers and they have been busy like Frankenstein making obscene toilet-paper creations in their horrible labs. It actually reminds me of this old Onion article: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades

We quietly await to hear news about the world’s first 4-ply toilet-paper...

Hey – Can We Talk About that Profit Sharing Plan Again?

2008-09-18T13:46:00.001-04:00

The Financial Times recently reported that Nintendo generated more profit per employee in 2007 than any other company in the world, including Google and Goldman Sachs. Nintendo made $1.6 million per employee last year, compared to $1.2 million for Goldman Sachs and just over $600,000 for Google. Nintendo is certainly helped by the fact that they outsource a lot of their production and only employ about 3,000 workers.

The average salary at Nintendo: $90,000. Now might be a good time to ask for that raise.

The Batman Movies – Ranked!

2008-08-01T14:01:00.002-04:00

7. Batman & Robin (1997) – After years of therapy, I’ve successfully blocked most of this movie from my memories, but I sort of remember something about nipples and some kind of weird love triangle involving Poison Ivy. There might have been an albino Arnold Schwarzenegger running around somewhere in this mess too, I don’t care to delve any deeper. Plus, some strong demerits for this movie for effectively destroying Hollywood comic book movies for the next 5 years.

Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom.

6. Batman Forever (1995) – I was pretty excited when I heard that Jim Carrey was going to be starring in this movie as the Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones is a solid professional too, right? Unfortunately, Joel Schumacher took a large, stinking crap on the franchise turning it into a joke and removing everything serious and believable out of the series. Batman Forever plays like a bad parody of a comic book movie. I haven’t seen this movie in years, but the thing I remember most about this movie is Tommy Lee Jones doing some serious overacting as Two Face. Even as a teenager I thought that character was ridiculous.

5. Batman: The Movie – POW! BAM! Adam West as Batman. Hey, it was total camp, but it was a hell of a lot more fun than Joel Schumacher’s Batman. Bonus points for always having the four villains (Joker, Riddler, Penquin, and Catwoman) hanging out and scheming against Batman and Robin together like they were old friends. I always enjoyed that.

4. Batman Returns (1992) – I’m not a fan of the Penguin as a Batman villain, usually because he sucks in pretty much every way imaginable and is a complete loser. But, hey, Danny DeVito played him to a T. And Michelle Pfeiffer was smoking hot as Catwoman – you cannot convince me otherwise of that. The plot of the movie is a little strange due to its focus on the Penguin and him running for major, but I could watch Catwoman all day and be happy.

3. Batman (1989) – Say Batman and Batman Returns were never made by Tim Burton. They never existed. Then you told me that you were going to make a Batman movie and cast Michael Keaton as Batman. I would probably kick you in the balls and mercilessly taunt you to the end of existence. But hey, it worked. Keaton was a hell of a good Batman. And of course, until Heath Ledger one upped him, Nicholson’s Joker defined what a Batman villain was supposed to be.

2. Batman Begins (2005) – I’m a sucker for superhero origin stories (Superman, Spiderman, I even liked the beginning of the Fantastic Four until it went to suck) and Batman Begins delivered on all aspects of how Batman... uh... began. Seeing the beginnings of the bat cave and all the bat tools was pretty sweet as well. Plus, if there was an actor born to play Batman, it was Christian Bale, who even pulls off Bruce Wayne as well as Batman. The movies only demerits are for Katie Homes as Rachel Dawes. And the scarecrow was kind of a wuss.

1. The Dark Knight (2008) – I don’t see how a better Batman movie could be made. It had an incredible story, solid-to-spectacular performances all around (the only weak link being Maggie Gyllenhaal – who was meh), emotion, and action throughout the entire movie. Bonus points for being really funny in parts too, which many a Batman has tried with so-so results.

David Hasselhoff

2008-07-29T09:10:00.004-04:00

...wants you to take a picture of him.

Watch Your Back Titanic

2008-07-29T08:40:00.001-04:00

The Dark Knight is a record setting movie in more ways than one.

Through its second weekend in theaters, the Dark Knight has already made $314 million domestically – including hauling in $75.6 million over this past weekend, which put it way ahead of Step Brothers ($30.1 million) and Momma Mia ($17.7 million) in the top spot.

Interestingly, it took Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 67 days to make what the new batman film has done in 10. It set a record for best second-weekend gross. And the Dark Knight has also become the quickest movie to reach $300 million – 10 days - beating out the old record holder, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, by 6 days.

Next stop - $400 million and possibly on its way to becoming the first movie this decade to make $500 million domestically.

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Megan Fox

2008-07-28T07:29:00.006-04:00

Megan Fox is hot, I won’t lie to you. It remains to be seen how talented she is, but expect to see her everywhere the rest of 2008 and 2009. Including this little slice of hell.

Best Movie: Transformers. Was Transformers high art? Hell no. Was it fun? Yes. And to my surprise, Megan Fox was actually decent in it. Unlike many other “wet blanket” wives/girlfriends/hot pieces of ass in action movies, her character actually added something to the movie. Something very little, but hey, it was more than I was expecting. She even had some good chemistry with noted drunk driver and co-star Shia LaBeouf. Most importantly, she was smoking hot at all times, which had to be the main point of her character.

Worst Movie: Transformers. Were you aware that Megan Fox has only been in one movie? Well, two if you count How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, which has premiered at Cains but is coming to the US in the fall.

She’s done a lot of TV, including a series called Ocean Ave, which I swear has the lowest IMDB user rating that I’ve ever seen (1.1). Even “Manos: The Hands of Fate” managed to snag a 1.8 user rating.

But, this is perfect, because as much as I loved Transformers, I hated it as well. It was hands down, my most anticipated movie of the year last year. I’m not a huge Michael Bay fan (with the exception of the Rock, which is awesome, probably due to Sean Connery’s involvement) so I was a little worried, but I thought, hey at least the guy can do action.

And Bay did pull off the action in the Transformers. The stuff going on between the Autobots and Decepticons rocked the house. Optimus Prime was fantastic and Megatron was sufficiently badass. All the Transformers looked really good too.

But holy crap, the non-Transformers storyline was horrible, specifically the stuff with the soldiers. Why waste 45 minutes on a bad war movie in a story about GIANT FRICKING ROBOTS. And why is this group of 20 soldiers taking on a Decepticon mano-a-mano. Oh, and look, Megan Fox is fighting Decepticons now. Ok, Autobots, I guess you can go on vacation, Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox and some soldiers have it all under control...

But, I digress.

Random Internet Fact: Megan Fox appears to be a freak. She tells FHM:

I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy, my sex drive is so high. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.”

Megan is also showing off her breasts in her upcoming movie, Jennifer's Body. Well, most of them anyway. And she has a large amount of ridiculous tattoos all over her body – a clear indication that she likes to experiment with unusual things…

Have I mentioned that I’m unusual?

Terminator Salvation News

2008-07-27T12:10:00.003-04:00

With Comic-Con in full swing, there is new Terminator Salvation gossip abound.

First, lucky guests at Comic-Con got a sneak peak at new footage of the film, which stars Christian Bale and explores the Terminator world after that famous nuclear holocaust. Also, via Filmonic, it appears that Jonathan Nolan, brother of Chris and writer on the Dark Knight, has been confirmed as the lead writer on Terminator Salvation. Good news indeed.

Here is Firstshowing's first hand description of Comic-Con and the what went down during the Terminator panel. Looks like news also got out about the new Terminator possibly being rated R rather than PG-13, which is great news for Terminator fanboys, but probably not so good for merchandizers.

The Terminator Teaser:

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Another hilarious reason to turn into the Hulk

2008-07-27T11:28:00.003-04:00

As a follow-up to the last Bixby clip, here is another video about David Banner turning into the Hulk for a ridiculous reason...

I DON'T HAVE 25 CENTS!

Balls of Steel

2008-07-27T11:15:00.001-04:00

I was pretty excited when I spotted this headline: Dwarf checked in as luggage at Stockholm airport

But my jubilation turned to disappointment when I saw that the act turned out to be a prank for a local television show. I so wanted to believe that there was some extremely cheap dwarf out there who wanted to save a few bucks on his vacation to the Greek Islands and thought he came up with a brilliant scheme.

However, my disappointment turned back into excitement when I found out that the television show that pulled this prank is called “Balls of Steel.” Really. Upon further investigation, there is actually a spin-off of Balls of Steal called “Massive Balls of Steel.”

People may complain about the dumbing down of US television, but last I checked, we don’t have a show called Massive Balls of Steel. We do, however, have it’s cousin: The Steve Wilkos Show.

There's Nothing Wrong with It When It's Art, Right?

2008-07-27T10:36:00.004-04:00

Time to plan that trip to new York. New York's Museum of Sex (MoSex for short) is currently exhibiting "Sex Lives of Animals," which is a "comprehensive and uncensored look at animal mating habits."

According to this article, some of the "art" pieces you can expect are:

"Deer Threesome'' catches Bambi in a three-way with two amorous stags. Then there's "Gay Dolphin Blow-Hole Sex,'' in which a fin substitutes for the penis. Both partners look happy.

Sorry, you'll have to go to Bloomberg.com for pictures. Also part of the exhibit are "Bonobo Exchanging Food for Sex" and "GG-Rubbing Bonobos." The don't know what a Bonobo is, but he sounds like a happy guy.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: One Hilarious reason to turn into the Hulk

2008-07-25T09:55:00.000-04:00

There are a number of good reasons why David Banner would turn into the Hulk – I remember a lot of the time it would be because he was shot or being beat up or something. But, not always. As the person who posted this video put it:

Usually when Dr David Banner changes into the Hulk, it is because of danger of death, extreme pain or fear. However, there have been some occasions when the transformation is triggered by something mundane we can all identify with, something I personally love...

...something like a traffic jam.

Inspirational Posters

2008-07-24T11:47:00.002-04:00

Nothing gets me all lathered up like a good inspirational poster. It makes my day brighter, puts a spring in my step, and reminds me not to shoot a rocket launcher into a group of my friends. All good things to remember.

Chuck Norris: Invading Your Cell Phone

2008-07-23T17:56:00.002-04:00

...as well as your DVD player, TV and the Vice Presidential Office.

Well, it’s about damn time. Chuck Norris and game publisher Gameloft have announced plans for a Chuck Norris mobile video game called Chuck Norris' Bring On the Pain. From the press release:

Play as either Ranger Chuck or Commando Chuck as he battles the combined forces of Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-il to defeat Communism here and abroad, with all of the subtlety of a Chuck Norris powerhouse takedown. But the enemy isn't the only one feeling the wrath of Chuck, as totally destructible environments allow Chuck to punch down houses with his fists or raze whole forests with his gun.

His gun? Chuck Norris doesn’t need a gun to rip down forests, my friends.

And while we all patiently wait for “Bring on the Pain,” we can ease the pain of our pathetic lives with a little Walker, Texas Ranger marathon. That’s right, Walker, Texas Ranger: Season Five is now out on DVD for your viewing pleasure. The only thing better than watching Norris hand out some old fashioned Texas justice to criminals is watching him hand out some old fashion American justice to commies...

Speaking of that, make sure you catch the Missing in Action marathon on AMC this week: (Thanks to the Pittsburgh Post Gazette for the descriptions):

Missing in Action '84. Chuck Norris. A U.S. colonel escapes from the Viet Cong, then comes back with a floating arsenal to get others out. (R)
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning '85. Chuck Norris. An American colonel held prisoner by sadistic Vietnamese makes a bid for freedom for himself and his fellow POWs. (R)
Braddock: Missing in Action III '88. Chuck Norris. A U.S. colonel returns to Vietnam and fights his way out with his wife, son and Amerasian orphans. (R)

The season 5 release of WTR actually reminded me of that old Conan skit: The Walker Texas Ranger Lever.

The Top 5 Rocky Movies

2008-07-22T10:42:00.002-04:00

Widely Missing the Cut: Rocky V

5. Rocky IV – When I was 13 years old, I watched a scratchy VHS tape of Rocky IV every single day. Actually, I watched the part where James Brown sings Living in America and then fast forwarded to when Rocky gets to Russia to start training. And you know, the movie works that way. The plot is ridiculous, Paulie has turned into an annoying buffoon by this point in the series and Adrian is a complete succubus during every scene she’s in. But the training scenes were legitimately cool, if a little confusing (why did Rocky scale a 15,000 mountain as part of his boxing training?). And Dolph Lundgren makes a pretty kickass villain. “I win for me! FOR ME!”

4. Rocky II – This movie suffers from the same problem as Rocky 4: the middle half of the movie is excruciatingly boring to sit through. An hour about how much of a loser Rocky is? He can’t read? He doesn’t know what a savings account is? But, the training scenes are as good, if not better, than the first movie and this time we get to watch him run up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art with 100,000 kids following him. Plus, seeing Rocky win the title from Apollo is probably THE MOMENT among all the Rocky movies.

3. Rocky III – I love everything about the third Rocky. Rocky is a paper champ, he’s lost the “Eye of the Tiger,” he’s all of a sudden a huge, ripped bodybuilder, Hulk Hogan makes an appearance as Thunderlips, Apollo is now on Rocky’s side, Mick dies halfway through the movie, and Mr. T is a tour-de-force of a villain. T has arguably my 5 favorite quotes in the series, including:

Interviewer: Do you hate Rocky?
Clubber Lang: No, I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got!

And...

Interviewer: What's your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: My prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, your prediction.
Clubber Lang: Pain!

The training scenes are decent, although they dwell on Rocky’s lack of the “Eye” a little too long. The training montage does lead to a great climax where Rocky and Apollo, wearing the shortest of short-shorts, give each other a giant man-hug while frolicking around in slow motion in the water. Stick that scene in a time capsule and call it the 80’s. While not as good as the Creed/Rocky fights, the fight at the end of the movie is entertaining as somehow Rocky survives 1,000 blows to the head from Clubber Lang.

2. Rocky Balboa – There isn’t much wrong with this movie. Adrian is dead. Rocky at least owns his own restaurant, so he’s not a complete loser like in the second movie. Stallone is scary huge in this movie, which kind of works because he’s still a boxer, except that he looked like some kind of mutant Stallone. The training scenes were awesome, as usual, and the ending to the movie was perfect - encapsulating exactly why people like to root for Rocky whether he wins or loses. The movie deals with some legitimate issues about getting older, loss, and moving on with your life. But for the love of god, let this be the last Rocky movie ever.

1. Rocky – The original is still the best. The movie is really showing its age after 30 years, but it is still enjoyable watch. A no-time, down on his luck Philadelphia boxer who gets a shot at the world title? And he comes within a whisker of winning after no one gives him a chance? The movie also introduced us to what would become a Rocky staple – the training montage.

Pest Control... TO THE XTREME

2008-07-22T08:39:00.002-04:00

I hate when bugs get into my house, as I'm sure most people do. But a New Jersey man wanted to get rid of his cockroaches so badly, he actually blew up his entire apartment trying to kill them.

The accident occurred as Maceda was spraying for pests in his kitchen. Somehow the bug spray ignited a blast that blew out the apartment's front windows and triggered a fire that quickly spread.

That sucks, but it sounds like it might be an honest accident. Setting your "friend's" groin on fire when he's passed out, on the other hand, is more difficult to explain:

Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Hulk Fights a Grizzly Bear

2008-07-22T08:32:00.002-04:00

Oh boy, is this clip a find or what. Watch the Incredible Hulk fight a grizzly bear, and make sure to pay close attention at the end to see if you can spot the clever special effect they used.

Technically, Bill Bixby is no where to be found in this clip, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to link to this incredible video.

Salma Hayek Calls Off Engagement

2008-07-18T16:50:00.008-04:00

Big news of the day: Every media outlet in the world (seemingly) has reported that Salma Hayek has officially called off her engagement to 45-year old French billionaire, Francois-Henri Pinault.

Francois-Henri Pinault, 45 going on 75.

Money certainly makes a man more attractive... well, not to me. I'm just saying. Really.

If you think this post exists so that I can show pictures of Selma Hayek, well, you are dead wrong my friends.

Dead, dead, wrong. I really have no idea what you're talking about. This engagement news is important to me. That's why I felt the need to report it.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2008-07-17T18:00:00.001-04:00

What was a Hollywood guy to do during the writer’s strike. Well, if you’re Joss Whedon, you create something called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It’s a horrible name, but an awesome concept. Imagine Neil Patrick Harris as an evil scientist who takes on his arch-nemesis in a superhero musical. It’s being release in three acts, and acts 1 and 2 are currently available on www.DrHorrible.com.

And, of course, the trailer...

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: The Magician Opening Credits

2008-07-16T17:31:00.003-04:00

Before his pop culture defining role as the Hulk, Bill Bixby starred in a short running series in the early 70's called The Magician. Bixby was an amateur magician himself, so he really must have enjoyed himself on this show. Here is Bixby's opening to the show.

Super Chuck Norris Brothers

2008-07-16T08:45:00.001-04:00

What would a Chuck Norris video game look like? I’d imagine it’d look kind of like this:

Super Chuck Norris Brothers would pretty much be the best game ever created. “Chuck Norris doesn’t need mushrooms! Chuck Norris needs a shotgun!”

And not surprisingly, a playable demo version of the game has been created, so you can blow up Koopas with a bazooka just like Chuck Norris would. You can download Super Chuck Norris Brothers here. I haven’t personally had a chance to download it, but Chad of ripten did and says its virus free.

What Not to Wear When Trying to Solicit Sex from a Child

2008-07-16T08:27:00.004-04:00

It might be time to hand over that t-shirt.

How Long Will Eddie Murphy Keep Making Movies?

2008-07-15T08:54:00.001-04:00

Or maybe the question should be how long will studios keep making movies starring Eddie Murphy? After his latest movie, Meet Dave, made $5.3 million opening weekend while costing about $75 million to make, the answer has to be not much longer, right?

Of course, I originally thought Eddie Murphy was done as an actor when The Adventures of Pluto Nash came out. That movie makes Dave look like a blockbuster. Nash opened to $2.2 million in 2002 and made $4.4 million total in the US after costing about $100 million to make. I remember thinking to myself that that was the end of Murphy as an actor, and yet, here we are in 2008 and he’s still pumping out crap every year.

And – good news - We have at least three more movies to look forward to from Murphy: 2009’s A Thousand Words and NowhereLand and 2010’s The Incredible Shrinking Man.

Chuck Norris is Blogging

2008-07-15T08:17:00.002-04:00

And his first target is Congress. Watch out bitches:

Bottom line: It is "we the People" who have power over the government, not them over us. They are called to protect our pursuit of life, liberty and happiness, not vice versa. And if they don't, the Declaration of Independence states, in no uncertain terms, that we are "to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for (our) future Security."

Preach it Chuck. I think we're with you on this one. Congress needs a roundhouse kick to the collective face right about now.

Will It Blend? - Chuck Norris

2008-07-15T08:13:00.001-04:00

Will a blender blend Chuck Norris? I don't think so bitch.

David Carradine and Rick Springfield

2008-07-13T22:17:00.003-04:00

A few hundred (million) notches below the famous Bruce Lee/Chuck Norris duel is this David Carradine vs Rick Springfield battle royal from an episode of Human Target in 1992. I never thought we'd find someone who fights slower than David Carradine, but Rick Springfield is showing us something.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Blind Rage

2008-07-12T21:03:00.003-04:00

One of the greatest achievements of the Youtube era is the fact that we can now watch full episodes of the Incredible Hulk from the comfort of our own bean bag chairs while digging our meaty paws into another bag of orangey-delicious Cheetos. God bless this world.

In this episode:

"...a mysterious gas cannister on a US army base causes some people, including Banner to go blind and rouge generals try to get it back to cover it up....Then Hulk mayhem ensues!!!"

Part 1:

Part 2:

Jean-Claude Van Damme – Just Continues to be Awesome

2008-07-10T11:53:00.003-04:00

A day we don’t get to hear Jean-Claude Van Damme speak is like a summer day without hearing the birds singing, we can all sense that something is missing. Thanks to an article on contactmusic.com (via New York Entertainment), today my friends, our day is complete. In the short interview Van Damme provided, we get the following quotes from The Muscles From Brussels:

“...my movies are very international. I’m a brand name. Van Damme is like Levi's."

"A day doesn’t go past when I’m not recognized,"

"I've made 36 movies in 20 years and I overacted a lot in my early career. So it's very difficult for me to look at myself in those early movies."

Classic Van Damme. Also classic Van Damme:

And if you happen to be in Galway, Ireland this weekend, you can see Jean Claude’s new movie – JCVD – at the 20th Galway Film Fleadh. I’ll give you 10 guesses what the title of his movie stands for...

What Not to Do When Buying Crack: Call the Police on Yourself

2008-07-09T16:13:00.000-04:00

Say you’re buying some crack cocaine and get robbed of your money by some unscrupulous drug dealer in the process. What would be the first thing you’d do? Vigilante justice? Cut your losses and try to buy some more crack? Well, if you’re Max Minnefield, you’d call the cops to report a robbery.

That’s awesome. I wonder what that phone call was like.

Officer: Hello.
Max: Yes, I’ve just been robbed
Officer: Are you in any physical harm?
Max: No.
Officer: Good. Now, what was taken?
Max: $8
Officer: $8? Ok. What happened?
Max: ...
Officer: Where were you during this robbery?
Max: ...
Officer: In order to file a report, I need to know what happened.
Max: Well, it all started when I was buying some crack...

Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Season 3 Hulk Outs

2008-07-08T10:27:00.000-04:00

Some of David Banner’s best hulk outs from season 3 of the Incredible Hulk. They really give you an idea how often producers went dipped into the well of “extreme close-ups” for the hulking out scenes. And you’ve got to feel bad for Banner, he must go through about 200 pairs of boots a year. That can’t good on the old clothing budget.

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Natalie Portman

2008-07-07T08:16:00.005-04:00

What’s not to love about Natalie Portman? She’s insanely beautiful, an extremely talented actress, and insanely beautiful. Ok, she may be a little too intelligent; as she can speak like 6 languages and graduated from Harvard. A girl like that wouldn’t go slum diving, even in my most exciting dreams.

Best Movie: With the risk of sounding like some kind of child stalker, it’s The Professional, which currently sits at #38 on IMDB’s top 250 films. Not only is it an amazing film about a professional assassin and his 12 year old neighbor: It has knock-it-out of the park performances by Jean Reno and Gary Oldman and Portman is phenomenal as the 12 year old neighbor. Portman has done a lot of amazing work since, but nothing is as jaw dropping as seeing her give this adult acting performance as a pre-teen.

Also mad props to V for Vendetta, which is a powerful film that contains a great performance by Portman. I couldn’t stop thinking about the movie for a week after I saw it. That doesn’t happen to me very often.

Worst Movie: Star Wars: Episode II. Episode I was a horrible piece of elephant shit right on top of the Star Wars mythology, and while Episode II was a slightly smaller piece of shit, Portman’s role was bigger in it. Not that the train wreck was her fault by any stretch of the imagination; no amount of acting is going to save you when you have to read dialogue written by a group of untrained orangutans. Case in point:

Padme: I do not like this idea of hiding.
Anakin: Sometimes we must do what is requested of us.

Really, George Lucas? Star Wars is your career, your legacy, your everything and that’s the best you could do. Really?

Interesting Fact: How time will change even the most steadfast of things. Earlier in her career, Portman was totally against doing nude scenes, going so far as to say:

"Also I don't like anything that exploits young women. Yes, nudity can be really artistic and really beautiful, but I don't think we need to see young people naked. I'm not trying to censor or criticize anyone, but it's difficult for me to watch. I wonder if someone else decided for that young person that he or she would get naked.”

So, it came as a little bit of a surprise when she did her first nude scene in Wes Anderson’s short film, Hotel Chevalier, which was a prologue to The Darjeeling Limited. Her change of heart is our gain.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: The Incredible Hulk Intro

2008-07-03T22:11:00.003-04:00

This should bring back memories: The old introduction to the Incredible Hulk TV show.

Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Where Were These Trials When I was in College?

2008-07-03T22:05:00.002-04:00

And why didn’t I become a scientist?

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University recently completed a two year study on the psychological effect that magic mushrooms have on human beings. The research was conducted by giving psilocybin to 36 volunteers and then asking them how it felt. This research is also commonly done at every single college in the world 7 days a week.

Anyway, according to the researchers:

"Even at the 14-month follow-up, 58 percent of 36 volunteers rated the experience on the psilocybin session as among the five most personally meaningful experiences of their lives and 67 percent rated it among the five most spiritually significant experiences of their lives.”

So, there you go. Hallucinogens are good. At least science tells us so.*

* There may have been some caveats and warnings in their findings. I didn’t get much past the word mushrooms in the article.

I Don't See a Problem With The Way He Handled That

2008-07-03T21:58:00.003-04:00

It's a problem we've all faced one time in our lives. What do you do when you can't find a baby sitter and you need a new pack of smokes at the gas station? Well, the problem solving man sticks his kids in a cage in the back of his truck so they can't get away while he runs into the store.

It's so obvious, I can't believe I didn't think of it first.

Poll: Obama beats McCain as barbecue guest

2008-07-02T09:19:00.000-04:00

From the latest issue of "stuff you didn't know you needed to know until you knew it."

Poll: Obama beats McCain as barbecue guest

Who the hell comes up this this stuff and can we make them stop?

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Headache Clinic

2008-06-25T09:19:00.002-04:00

Bill Bixby For Sanhedrin in the Kentucky Fried Movie (go watch this movie if you've never seen it):

Top 6 Celebrity Brothers

2008-06-25T08:35:00.002-04:00

Just missing the list: Charlie O'Connell, Ben Savage.

6. Andrew Wilson

You know Luke and Owen, but do you know Andrew? Let’s see, he appeared with Owen in the movies Bottle Rocket, Zoolander, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Big Bounce. He has appeared with Luke in Rushmore, Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Mike Judge's Idiocracy. I will say that his role as gladiator Beef Supreme in Idiocracy was pretty sweet. And he got a huge 5 minutes of screen time in that role. I would assume that’s a record for him.

5. Omar Gooding

Unlike some of the people on this list, Omar has carved out a semi-respectable career for himself, m os tly as a TV actor, making guest appearances on CSI: Miami, Deadwood, and one of the all time classics, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper. He had a regular part of the short lived Playmakers on ESPN, was one of the hosts of my fourth favorite kids’ show of all time (Wild and Crazy Kids) and played Stuart in Ghost Dad. He also cleans up pretty well. That’s a career the rest of the guys on the list would kill for.

Bonus points for the fact that he shares a close resemblance with his brother. Plus, the way Cuba’s career is headed, we might see Cuba switch places with Omar in a few years.

4. Michael Bacon

Michael does hold a degree in music and is a musician and composer in his own right, but his “fame” comes from three little words: “The Bacon Brothers,” a musical group he formed with – surprise – his brother Kevin. I have never heard the Bacon Brothers play, but I can imagine the awesomeness of an event like that. According to pictures on their website, it appears that they both play the guitar and, sadly, they have an entire band that accompanies them. I was disappointed with that fact. One hopes that they forced the band to change all their last names to Bacon.

3. Don Swayze

Now the list gets down to business. The younger brother of Patrick Swayze also gets bonus points for his huge carny-esqe resemblance to his older brother. His IMDB page is a testament to the fact that, yes, a person can make a living off guest appearances on television shows. I would even know where to begin... Tremors (the TV version), Walker Texas Ranger, The New Dragnet, L.A. Law, Matlock, Murder, She Wrote, CSI, something called Street Hawk. Hell, he even played Jessie James in an episode of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (I can see the resemblance). I could go on for another 10 paragraphs, I really could. Just know that Don Swayze is what would have happened to Patrick Swayze if he wasn’t good looking (I’m talking about 20 years ago, not now).

2. Daniel Baldwin

Up until I was 18, I didn’t know Daniel Baldwin existed. I thought he was Alec Baldwin and I would say to myself, “man, that Alec Baldwin is everywhere.” Clearly, he’s had the least successful acting career of the Baldwin brothers, but he has been in some respectable stuff, like Mulholland Falls and one of my favorite movies of all time, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (seriously, watch this movie with friends. You won’t be disappointed). But Baldwin is #2 on this list thanks to his completely embarrassing 4-episode run on VH1’s reality series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2007. He was a complete train-wreck on that show, and it was impossible not to watch self-destruct.

1. Frank Stallone

A musician and actor, I don’t think Frank Stallone will ever be topped as a celebrity brother. He can pretty much thank Sly for everything he has professionally. For example, Frank wrote songs for the following movies: Rocky II, Rocky III, Staying Alive, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Over the Top, Rocky V, and Rocky Balboa. He also appeared in the following movies: Rocky, Paradise Alley, Rocky II, Rocky III, Staying Alive, Get Carter, and Rocky Balboa. Not to say the guy isn’t talented in his own right, but that list looks a little fishy. Frank is on tour now with his aptly named band, the Frank Stallone Band. Here’s his song from Staying Alive, Far From Over:

Still, there are perks to being Frank Stallone.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: Tandy 1000 Commercial

2008-06-23T17:17:00.003-04:00

Get your Tandy 1000 now at RadioShack. It comes complete with word processing, filing, and spreadsheets!

George Carlin Dies: Long Live Rufus

2008-06-23T09:16:00.005-04:00

Comedian George Carlin died on Sunday of apparent heart failure. Carlin was best known for his comedy performances and albums, but here at THE BUMRUSH, we'll always remember Carlin as the wise time traveler Rufus in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.

Rufus was awesome and he'll be missed.

Rufus: Hi. Welcome to the future. San Dimas, California, 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean. The water's clean. Even the dirt... is clean. Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great. But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two on the correct path, the basis of our society will be in danger. Don't worry. It'll all make sense. I'm a professional.

How the Mighty have Fallen: The Love Guru Bombs

2008-06-23T08:10:00.001-04:00

Wow. Just wow. Two comedies, Get Smart and the Love Guru, opened this weekend and speculation was rampant about which one would make the most money this weekend. The most common prediction I heard was that it’d be a close race as both would earn in the $35-$40 million range, but Get Smart would eek out a win over the Guru.

Well, results from the weekend are in and Get Smart held up its part of the deal, earning $39.2 million to finish the weekend at number 1. The Love Guru, however, bombed miserably. It earned only $14 million to open at number 4, behind Kung Fu Panda (in week 3) and The Incredible Hulk (in week 2).

What the hell happened to The Love Guru? The reviews were abysmal; it currently has a 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. Peter Howell of the Toronto Star and Chris Vognar of the Dallas Morning News were the only two “top” critics to give it a positive review – I’ll have what they’re smoking…

But reviews can’t explain everything. M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening didn’t fair much better (20% on Rotten Tomatoes) and it opened at $30.5 last week (only to fall 67% this weekend). Are people getting tired of Mike Myers? I doubt it. He hasn’t been in a live action movie since 2002, so it’s not like he’s shoving it down our throats like Will Ferrell or anything.

Did The Love Guru’s previews simply suck so much that they drove people away? It’s an interesting possibility. Even the worst movies (think Star Wars Episode 1) have awesome trailers that get people hyped for opening weekend. The consensus was that the Guru’s trailers looked awful. They weren’t funny and generally made the film look horrible. When a trailer undersells a movie to the point where the movie is funnier than the trailer makes it out to be, you know it’s time to fire the trailer-making dude.

The final possibility for Get Smart kicking The Love Guru’s ass this weekend would be because of the beautiful Anne Hathaway:

… I’m still trying to formulate a coherent why that would be. Give me a second…

Woman Marries Eiffell Tower

2008-06-22T21:29:00.003-04:00

According to the Daily Telegraph, a woman with an object fetish has "married" the Eiffel Tower.

Erika La Tour Eiffel, 37, a former soldier who lives in San Francisco, has been in love with objects before. Her first infatuation was with Lance, a bow that helped her to become a world-class archer, she is fond of the Berlin Wall and she claims to have a physical relationship with a piece of fence she keeps in her bedroom. But it is the Eiffel Tower she has pledged to love, honour and obey in an intimate ceremony attended by a handful of friends.

No word on who these friends are, but I'm sure that the Berlin Wall was in attendance. They are BFFs after all.

How Not to Break Into an Apartment

2008-06-22T08:46:00.003-04:00

I love this story: New York man accused of hiding in woman's couch.

Police say a New York man cut a hole in a woman's couch and hid in the carved-out space until she came home. Newburgh police said the woman sat on the couch Wednesday evening and felt a bump in the cushions move. She jumped up and David Joe Limones emerged from his hiding place, knocking a cell phone out of her hand.

Really, the inside of a couch was the best hiding spot he could think of? I'm sure there was a closet in the room. Or under the bed would at least given the guy some breathing room. Also, I'd like to know how long this guy was stuck in that couch for. Was it a half an hour? Or was he stuck in there for like 8 hours while she was at work? It makes a big difference, I would assume.

The Hoff is Looking for Freedom

2008-06-20T23:02:00.000-04:00

The decade of the 1980's is aging like a fine wine. Every year we get further away from the 80's, the more unbelievable and wonderful those 10 years become. What do I mean? This Hasselhoff music video can explain things better than I can. (Try to avoid starring directly at the Hoff's jeri-mullet, it can cause permanent damage to your eyes).

In case you like your Hasselhoff with a little more island maschismo, here's the Hoff's Limbo Dance. You can almost feel Jamaica oozing from his skin.

Finally, the Hoff is crazy for you. Actually, as he mentions about 85 times, he's CRAAAAA-zy for YOU! I'm not quite sure of the meaning of the dog at the end of the video, but it does worry me a lot.

Time to Plan that Vacation to Zheleznovodsk

2008-06-20T22:04:00.005-04:00

For those of you who have been waiting patiently for a worthy reason to vacation in Russia, you're long wait is over. A spa in Zheleznovodsk, Russia has recently erected a monument to the enema. FINALLY!

According to the article, the bronze syringe bulb weighs 800 pounds and is held by in place by three angels (a gift from the heavens?). It cost $42,000 to create and contains a banner that reads: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas."

Says the spa director, Alexander Kharchenko, "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

Almost? You guys have to try a little harder than that.

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Naomi Watts

2008-06-20T17:14:00.000-04:00

What's not to love about Naomi Watts? A beautiful woman who can also act and isn't afraid to do nude? Sign me up for one of those!

Best Movie: Personally, I thought that Mulholland Dr. (8.0 on IMDB) was great piece of filmmaking. But for those who thought it was too confusing, 21 Grams (7.9) is also right up there and makes slightly more sense.

Worst Movie: The Ring Two (5.1). Aside from Tank Girl, which shouldn’t really count, King Kong was absolute dreck. But Watts’ performance was one of the best things in it. She had more charisma than the rest of the cast combined. So, the award goes to the idiotic and non-scary scary movie, The Ring Two.

Fun Internet Fact: Watts was born in England, but moved to Australia when she was 14. She is best friends with Nicole Kidman. Now, that is an Australian sandwich I’d like to be a part of.

Tetris: The Movie

2008-06-19T15:57:00.002-04:00

There was a time not long ago when life didn't get any better than playing Tetris on a Nintendo Gameboy. Yes, those were much sadder times (who needs color screens? Not me thank you very much), but we can relive all those memories with Tetris, The Movie:

Where in the World is Chuck Norris? Oh, Right. Everywhere.

2008-06-19T12:10:00.004-04:00

If you’re anything like me, you probably rolled out of bed at 10am this morning, vigorously adjusted your junk, wiped the drool off your face, and thought, “Hey, I wonder what Chuck Norris is up to?”

Good question my friend. And it shouldn’t be at all surprising to find out he’s been quite busy recently, even for a Demigod. First, it’s a good day to be Ian Spector, creator of Chuck Norris Facts. Norris reported dropped his lawsuit against Spector, for reasons that are only known to Norris’ right foot. I’d take extra time to smell the flowers today, Ian. Not many men cross Chuck Norris and live to tell of it.

Norris then took time to meet High School senior Vilius Bruzas in Powhatan, Virginia. Bruzas is confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy and counts Delta Force among his favorite movies (no offense, but who doesn’t). On a scale of one to ten, Bruzas said about the day, “I give it a 10.” Chuck Norris then gave the day an 11.

Finally, Norris has joined with American Solutions for Winning the Future to launch a campaign with the goal of forcing Congress to drill for oil within US borders and territorial waters. I’m sorry Alaska. Chuck Norris is coming for your oil and there is nothing you can do to stop him. In fact, he’s getting ready to personally drill in the Alaskan wildlife preserve using a single plastic spork.

From the mouth of Norris himself:

We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices) by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries.

Preach the word, Norris. We're ready to listen.

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Shannon Elizabeth

2008-05-10T23:06:00.008-04:00

Best Movie: According to IMDB, the highest rated movie she’s been in was Love Actually (a 7.8 out of 10). But since her credit in that movie was “Harriet, the sexy one” – and I’m totally serious about that – her actual best (and I’m using that term lightly) movie was American Pie (6.8) where she basically became famous for showing her tits (not that there is anything wrong with that). I loved American pie. It was great. And about 3% of that was due to Shannon Elizabeth.

Worst Movie: Johnson Family Vacation staring Cedric the Entertainer (a slick 3.7 on IMDB)? I don’t know. All her movies where we don’t get to see her breasts pretty much suck. Which is why our first and last thought about Shannon Elizabeth begin and end with:

Random Internet Fact: Shannon was born in 1973, which makes her… 35? Really? 35? Wow, that’s old. She'll always be a high school girl in my mind…

Ok, maybe not so much...

Boom Goes the Dynamite

2008-05-08T22:54:00.002-04:00

There's not much more to say than that... You just have to watch the video.

Fire Joe Morgan

2008-02-19T19:15:00.003-05:00

If you have any interest in baseball (and if you likes your HGH like I likes me HGH, then I knows you do), Fire Joe Morgan is one of the funniest, most interesting, most readable, most greatest sites out there. And in one of their recent articles, they breakdown this ridiculous article in the New York Post that attempts to refute a scientific study which determined that Derek Jeter was the worst fielding shortstop in the league.

An excerpt from Fire Joe Morgan (NY Post’s crap in italics)

researchers concluded that Alex Rodriguez was one of the best shortstops in the game when he played for the Texas Rangers.

This is an interesting finding. I wish I knew more about how the study worked. Just kidding: give me what Mike Birch has to say on the matter. Mike Birch works at Lids, the hat store.

"I don't know what they're smoking down at Penn," said Yankees fan Mike Birch, 32.

Take that, complex statistical study. Birch is insightful and funny. One time he sold me a sweet lid with the Under Armor logo on it. "I don't know what they're smoking"! Classic. Classic Birch.

"It's ridiculous," said fan Jay Ricker, 22. "Jeter is all-around awesome.

"I agree," said Science, 424. "Fuck me, that is a good argument. I might as well not exist. That's it. I'm taking 500 Darvocets. Humans, welcome your new overlord, Jay Ricker, 22. He is all-around awesome."
Ricker added that "A-Rod's only out for the money. For him it's not about baseball, it's just about banking."

Studies have shown that A-Rod is, incidentally, the league's best banker. A lot of people don't know this, but he was heavily recruited by Blackstone and Goldman coming out of high school. Jeter is genetically incapable of using an ATM; he in fact only understands those letters to be the abbreviation for ass to mouth.

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Jessica Biel

2008-02-16T16:28:00.008-05:00

The tough part of this post was picking which pictures not to put up here of Jessica Biel.

Best Movie: The Illusionist. Up until the Illusionist, I pretty much lumped Biel into the Jessica Alba/Kate Bosworth group of pretty faces who can’t really act. But she was great in this movie and was actually able to hold a scene with the always talented Edward Norton. I liked this movie better than the other 19th century magician-based mystery film that came out in 2006, The Prestige, and Biel was a part of that reason. A small part, but she added something to the table.

Worst Movie: Blade: Trinity. This horrible movie was really her fault, as she wasn’t given much to work with in this piece of garbage. Nor did she really fit into a movie that was SUPPOSED to be about a badass vampire hunter named Blade, but was really about suckiness. Let’s really blame this one on writer and director David S. Goyer, who put out an absolute bomb and ruined what was a pretty cool set of movies up to that point.

Random Internet Fact: The day after she was born, her parents took her to a dog-sled race where the temperature was thirty degrees below zero. (Those crazy people from Minnesota).

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Trailer

2008-02-16T16:07:00.002-05:00

Well, it's out (and the movie is finally, finally almost here). It’s the trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It certainly gives me that nostalgic Indiana Jones feeling. What do you think?

Yes We Can

2008-02-09T11:57:00.001-05:00

This blog is not a space for trumpeting politics or personal beliefs, but it is a voice, however small, in a world full of billions looking for hope in a world that is often harsh and unfair. After watching the will i am video "Yes We Can" about the Barack Obama four times in a row, I made the decision that I had to post it here. For the first time in my adult life, I believe in someone running for president.

from will.i.am on the video's website:

But this time it’s not that simple...
and there are a lot of people that are torn just like i am...

So for awhile I put it off and i was going to wait until it was decided for me...

And then came New Hampshire...

And i was captivated...

Inspired...

I reflected on my life...
and the blessings I have...
and the people who fought for me to have these rights and blessings...

and I’m not talking about a "black thing"
I’m talking about a "human thing" me as a "person"
an American...

That speech made me think of Martin Luther King...
Kennedy...
and Lincoln...
and all the others that have fought for what we have today...

what America is "supposed" to be...

freedom...
equality...
and truth...

and thats not what we have today...
we think we are free...
but in reality terror and fear controls our decisions...

this is not the America that our pioneers and leaders fought and
died for...

and then there was New Hampshire

it was that speech...
like many great speeches...
that one moved me...
because words and ideas are powerful...

It made me think...
and realize that today we have "very few" leaders...
maybe none...

but that speech...

it inspired me...
it inspired me to look inside myself and outwards towards the world...
it inspired me to want to change myself to better the world...
and take a "leap" towards change...
and hope that others become inspired to do the same...
change themselves..
change their greed...
change their fears...
and if we "change that"
"then hey"..
we got something right...???...

1 week later after the speech settled in me...
I began making this song...
I came up with the idea to turn his speech into a song...
because that speech effected and touched my inner core like nothing in a very long time...

it spoke to me...

because words and ideas are powerful...

I just wanted to add a melody to those words...
I wanted the inspiration that was bubbling inside me to take over...

so i let it..

I wasn't afraid to stand for something...
to stand for "change"...
I wasn't afraid of "fear"...
it was pure inspiration...

so I called my friends...
and they called their friends...
in a matter of 2 days...
We made the song and video...

Usually this process would take months...
a bunch of record company people figuring out strategies and release dates...
interviews...
all that stuff...
but this time i took it in my own hands...
so i called my friends sarah pantera, mike jurkovac, fred goldring, and jesse dylan to help make it happen...
and they called their friends..
and we did it together in 48 hours...
and instead of putting it in the hands of profit we put it in the hands of inspiration...

then we put it on the net for the world to feel...

When you are truly inspired..
magic happens...
incredible things happen...
love happens..
(and with that combination)

"love, and inspiration"

change happens...

"change for the better"
Inspiration breeds change...

"Positive change"...

no one on this planet is truly experienced to handle the obstacles we face today...
Terror, fear, lies, agendas, politics, money, all the above...
It’s all scary...

Martin Luther King didn't have experience to lead...
Kennedy didn't have experience to lead...
Susan B. Anthony...
Nelson Mandela...
Rosa Parks...
Gandhi...
Anne Frank...
and everyone else who has had a hand in molding the freedoms we have and take for granted today...

no one truly has experience to deal with the world today...

they just need "desire, strength, courage ability, and passion" to change...
and to stand for something even when people say it's not possible...

America would not be here "today" if we didn’t stand and fight for
change "yesterday"...
Everything we have as a "people" is because of the "people" who fought for
change...
and whoever is the President has to realize we have a lot of changing to do

I'm not trying to convince people to see things how i do...
I produced this song to share my new found inspiration and how I've been moved...
I hope this song will make you feel...
love...
and think...
and be inspired just like the speech inspired me...

that’s all...

Please visit www.yeswecansong.com

I'm fukin' Matt Damon

2008-02-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

This pretty much explains everything that is great about Matt Damon. It doesn't get much better than him.

Chris Berman Does NOT Like Distractions

2008-01-31T19:40:00.000-05:00

Chris Berman (who you may know from ESPN) having a breakdown on the set of Sportscenter (NSFW language).

BUMRUSH Girl of the Month: Helena Bonham Carter

2008-01-20T18:55:00.000-05:00

First, Helena Bonham Carter has the sexiest name in all of Hollywood. Second, despite the scummy roles she often plays in (such as Bellatrix Lestrange in the latest Harry Potter movie), she's always attracted me in that dangerous bad girl kind of way. Call me a sucker for mysterious girls, but you can't deny that Bonham Carter cleans up well:

Best Movie: If you count the roles in which she was a supporting actress (and she does the supporting thing a lot), it would absolutely have to be Fight Club. But while Bonham Carter did a fine job in the movie, it really was a Ed Norton/Brad Pitt vehicle. I've also heard good things about Sweeney Todd, but I haven't had a chance to see it yet.

Worst Movie: Again, it's really not her fault, but Planet of the Apes sucked ass. I was a huge fan of the earlier movies (I actually watched the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th ones. That's how much I like the series). But this one was just a waste of my life.

Random Internet Fact: In May 2006, she launched her own fashion line, "The Pantaloonies." The first collection, called Bloomin' Bloomers, is a Victoriana style selection of camisoles, mop caps and bloomers. She is now working on Pantaloonies customized jeans which Helena describes as "a kind of scrapbook on the bum.".

How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

2008-01-20T16:21:00.000-05:00

Apparently, based on my build and skillz, I could beat up 25 five year old children. You better recognize! I am a machine.

25

Find a Ultrasound school near you

Kiefer Sutherland: Pretty Good at Jail

2008-01-19T09:54:00.000-05:00

I really had no idea that Kiefer Sutherland has been in jail the past 48 days on a drunken-driving charge and violation of his probation. According to this article, he's spent his sentence cleaning sheets, pillowcases and blankets on laundry duty. No word on whether he was able to bring his dog or giant rocking chair with him to jail.

Rambo 4

2008-01-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

We've been surprisingly mum on the new Rambo movie, which is strange since Rambo pretty much was the 80's for us. The new Rambo trailer has been out a while, so you may have already seen it, but it is balls out insane for the amount of blood and decapitations in it. I think it's safe to say that Rambo is back.

Your Bill Bixby Clip of the Day: The Towel Whip

2008-01-19T09:21:00.000-05:00

The quality of this video is horrible (tracking! tracking!) but it's absolutely worth a watch simply for the towel whips delivered to David Banner. I haven't felt such pain since junior high...