THE BUMRUSH

I know a guy. Well, I know many guys… but not in that way. This post is about that guy… the one from the first sentence. He’s a comedian in the area by the name of Brian Brinegar. And now I’m going to cipher his comedic wit in the name of PROGRESS!!! Wait, not progress. In the name of a shout-out, as it were.

In addition to his material being blogjacked, Brian is also the proud owner of a small little plot right off the information superhighway. Just take a left after the world’s crappiest website. The genius that follows is all his.

Hey folks!! just for fun, I figured I would reincarnate something from my high school days.... these are called would you rathers....
If you absolutely HAD TO one of these things, which would you rather do...

1. snip your finger nails too close or
2. bite your tongue until it bleeds....

see? easy huh? not so bad....I go for the fingernails...
ok next one....

would you rather....

1. watch the last person to dump you have sex with their new person or.....
2. watch your parents do it...

ok a bit rougher now

would you rather....

1. hole punch one nostril or
2. have that piece of skin under your tongue snipped

would you rather....

1. watch your dad jerk off or
2. have your grandma watch you masturbate...

would you rather....

1. Clean a public toilet with your tongue or
2. Drink a cup of vomit (8 ounces)

I couldn’t put it better myself. Let me also say that I appreciate the clear and exact description of the last would you rather, which really help put the image in my head. Mmmm, vomit. More of Brian at myspace.