THE BUMRUSH

...wants you to take a picture of him.

Labels: hasselhoff, hoff

The Dark Knight is a record setting movie in more ways than one.

Through its second weekend in theaters, the Dark Knight has already made $314 million domestically – including hauling in $75.6 million over this past weekend, which put it way ahead of Step Brothers ($30.1 million) and Momma Mia ($17.7 million) in the top spot.

Interestingly, it took Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 67 days to make what the new batman film has done in 10. It set a record for best second-weekend gross. And the Dark Knight has also become the quickest movie to reach $300 million – 10 days - beating out the old record holder, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, by 6 days.

Next stop - $400 million and possibly on its way to becoming the first movie this decade to make $500 million domestically.

Labels: box office, movies, news

Megan Fox is hot, I won’t lie to you. It remains to be seen how talented she is, but expect to see her everywhere the rest of 2008 and 2009. Including this little slice of hell.



Best Movie: Transformers. Was Transformers high art? Hell no. Was it fun? Yes. And to my surprise, Megan Fox was actually decent in it. Unlike many other “wet blanket” wives/girlfriends/hot pieces of ass in action movies, her character actually added something to the movie. Something very little, but hey, it was more than I was expecting. She even had some good chemistry with noted drunk driver and co-star Shia LaBeouf. Most importantly, she was smoking hot at all times, which had to be the main point of her character.



Worst Movie: Transformers. Were you aware that Megan Fox has only been in one movie? Well, two if you count How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, which has premiered at Cains but is coming to the US in the fall.

She’s done a lot of TV, including a series called Ocean Ave, which I swear has the lowest IMDB user rating that I’ve ever seen (1.1). Even “Manos: The Hands of Fate” managed to snag a 1.8 user rating.

But, this is perfect, because as much as I loved Transformers, I hated it as well. It was hands down, my most anticipated movie of the year last year. I’m not a huge Michael Bay fan (with the exception of the Rock, which is awesome, probably due to Sean Connery’s involvement) so I was a little worried, but I thought, hey at least the guy can do action.

And Bay did pull off the action in the Transformers. The stuff going on between the Autobots and Decepticons rocked the house. Optimus Prime was fantastic and Megatron was sufficiently badass. All the Transformers looked really good too.

But holy crap, the non-Transformers storyline was horrible, specifically the stuff with the soldiers. Why waste 45 minutes on a bad war movie in a story about GIANT FRICKING ROBOTS. And why is this group of 20 soldiers taking on a Decepticon mano-a-mano. Oh, and look, Megan Fox is fighting Decepticons now. Ok, Autobots, I guess you can go on vacation, Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox and some soldiers have it all under control...

But, I digress.



Random Internet Fact: Megan Fox appears to be a freak. She tells FHM:

I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy, my sex drive is so high. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.”

Megan is also showing off her breasts in her upcoming movie, Jennifer's Body. Well, most of them anyway. And she has a large amount of ridiculous tattoos all over her body – a clear indication that she likes to experiment with unusual things…

Have I mentioned that I’m unusual?

Labels: girls, movies

With Comic-Con in full swing, there is new Terminator Salvation gossip abound.

First, lucky guests at Comic-Con got a sneak peak at new footage of the film, which stars Christian Bale and explores the Terminator world after that famous nuclear holocaust. Also, via Filmonic, it appears that Jonathan Nolan, brother of Chris and writer on the Dark Knight, has been confirmed as the lead writer on Terminator Salvation. Good news indeed.

Here is Firstshowing's first hand description of Comic-Con and the what went down during the Terminator panel. Looks like news also got out about the new Terminator possibly being rated R rather than PG-13, which is great news for Terminator fanboys, but probably not so good for merchandizers.

The Terminator Teaser:

Labels: movies, news, sci fi

As a follow-up to the last Bixby clip, here is another video about David Banner turning into the Hulk for a ridiculous reason...

I DON'T HAVE 25 CENTS!

Labels: bill bixby, hulk, humor, television

I was pretty excited when I spotted this headline: Dwarf checked in as luggage at Stockholm airport

But my jubilation turned to disappointment when I saw that the act turned out to be a prank for a local television show. I so wanted to believe that there was some extremely cheap dwarf out there who wanted to save a few bucks on his vacation to the Greek Islands and thought he came up with a brilliant scheme.

However, my disappointment turned back into excitement when I found out that the television show that pulled this prank is called “Balls of Steel.” Really. Upon further investigation, there is actually a spin-off of Balls of Steal called “Massive Balls of Steel.”

People may complain about the dumbing down of US television, but last I checked, we don’t have a show called Massive Balls of Steel. We do, however, have it’s cousin: The Steve Wilkos Show.

Labels: nonsense, perverson, television

Time to plan that trip to new York. New York's Museum of Sex (MoSex for short) is currently exhibiting "Sex Lives of Animals," which is a "comprehensive and uncensored look at animal mating habits."

According to this article, some of the "art" pieces you can expect are:

"Deer Threesome'' catches Bambi in a three-way with two amorous stags. Then there's "Gay Dolphin Blow-Hole Sex,'' in which a fin substitutes for the penis. Both partners look happy.

Sorry, you'll have to go to Bloomberg.com for pictures. Also part of the exhibit are "Bonobo Exchanging Food for Sex" and "GG-Rubbing Bonobos." The don't know what a Bonobo is, but he sounds like a happy guy.

Labels: perverson

There are a number of good reasons why David Banner would turn into the Hulk – I remember a lot of the time it would be because he was shot or being beat up or something. But, not always. As the person who posted this video put it:

Usually when Dr David Banner changes into the Hulk, it is because of danger of death, extreme pain or fear. However, there have been some occasions when the transformation is triggered by something mundane we can all identify with, something I personally love...

...something like a traffic jam.

Labels: 80's, bill bixby, hulk, television

Nothing gets me all lathered up like a good inspirational poster. It makes my day brighter, puts a spring in my step, and reminds me not to shoot a rocket launcher into a group of my friends. All good things to remember.

Labels: perverson

...as well as your DVD player, TV and the Vice Presidential Office.

Well, it’s about damn time. Chuck Norris and game publisher Gameloft have announced plans for a Chuck Norris mobile video game called Chuck Norris' Bring On the Pain. From the press release:

Play as either Ranger Chuck or Commando Chuck as he battles the combined forces of Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-il to defeat Communism here and abroad, with all of the subtlety of a Chuck Norris powerhouse takedown. But the enemy isn't the only one feeling the wrath of Chuck, as totally destructible environments allow Chuck to punch down houses with his fists or raze whole forests with his gun.

His gun? Chuck Norris doesn’t need a gun to rip down forests, my friends.

And while we all patiently wait for “Bring on the Pain,” we can ease the pain of our pathetic lives with a little Walker, Texas Ranger marathon. That’s right, Walker, Texas Ranger: Season Five is now out on DVD for your viewing pleasure. The only thing better than watching Norris hand out some old fashioned Texas justice to criminals is watching him hand out some old fashion American justice to commies...

Speaking of that, make sure you catch the Missing in Action marathon on AMC this week: (Thanks to the Pittsburgh Post Gazette for the descriptions):

• Missing in Action '84. Chuck Norris. A U.S. colonel escapes from the Viet Cong, then comes back with a floating arsenal to get others out. (R)
• Missing in Action 2: The Beginning '85. Chuck Norris. An American colonel held prisoner by sadistic Vietnamese makes a bid for freedom for himself and his fellow POWs. (R)
• Braddock: Missing in Action III '88. Chuck Norris. A U.S. colonel returns to Vietnam and fights his way out with his wife, son and Amerasian orphans. (R)

The season 5 release of WTR actually reminded me of that old Conan skit: The Walker Texas Ranger Lever.

Labels: chuck norris, television, video games

Widely Missing the Cut: Rocky V

5. Rocky IV – When I was 13 years old, I watched a scratchy VHS tape of Rocky IV every single day. Actually, I watched the part where James Brown sings Living in America and then fast forwarded to when Rocky gets to Russia to start training. And you know, the movie works that way. The plot is ridiculous, Paulie has turned into an annoying buffoon by this point in the series and Adrian is a complete succubus during every scene she’s in. But the training scenes were legitimately cool, if a little confusing (why did Rocky scale a 15,000 mountain as part of his boxing training?). And Dolph Lundgren makes a pretty kickass villain. “I win for me! FOR ME!”



4. Rocky II – This movie suffers from the same problem as Rocky 4: the middle half of the movie is excruciatingly boring to sit through. An hour about how much of a loser Rocky is? He can’t read? He doesn’t know what a savings account is? But, the training scenes are as good, if not better, than the first movie and this time we get to watch him run up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art with 100,000 kids following him. Plus, seeing Rocky win the title from Apollo is probably THE MOMENT among all the Rocky movies.



3. Rocky III – I love everything about the third Rocky. Rocky is a paper champ, he’s lost the “Eye of the Tiger,” he’s all of a sudden a huge, ripped bodybuilder, Hulk Hogan makes an appearance as Thunderlips, Apollo is now on Rocky’s side, Mick dies halfway through the movie, and Mr. T is a tour-de-force of a villain. T has arguably my 5 favorite quotes in the series, including:

Interviewer: Do you hate Rocky?
Clubber Lang: No, I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got!

And...

Interviewer: What's your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: My prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, your prediction.
Clubber Lang: Pain!

The training scenes are decent, although they dwell on Rocky’s lack of the “Eye” a little too long. The training montage does lead to a great climax where Rocky and Apollo, wearing the shortest of short-shorts, give each other a giant man-hug while frolicking around in slow motion in the water. Stick that scene in a time capsule and call it the 80’s. While not as good as the Creed/Rocky fights, the fight at the end of the movie is entertaining as somehow Rocky survives 1,000 blows to the head from Clubber Lang.



2. Rocky Balboa – There isn’t much wrong with this movie. Adrian is dead. Rocky at least owns his own restaurant, so he’s not a complete loser like in the second movie. Stallone is scary huge in this movie, which kind of works because he’s still a boxer, except that he looked like some kind of mutant Stallone. The training scenes were awesome, as usual, and the ending to the movie was perfect - encapsulating exactly why people like to root for Rocky whether he wins or loses. The movie deals with some legitimate issues about getting older, loss, and moving on with your life. But for the love of god, let this be the last Rocky movie ever.



1. Rocky – The original is still the best. The movie is really showing its age after 30 years, but it is still enjoyable watch. A no-time, down on his luck Philadelphia boxer who gets a shot at the world title? And he comes within a whisker of winning after no one gives him a chance? The movie also introduced us to what would become a Rocky staple – the training montage.

Labels: 70's, 80's, movies, top 5

I hate when bugs get into my house, as I'm sure most people do. But a New Jersey man wanted to get rid of his cockroaches so badly, he actually blew up his entire apartment trying to kill them.

The accident occurred as Maceda was spraying for pests in his kitchen. Somehow the bug spray ignited a blast that blew out the apartment's front windows and triggered a fire that quickly spread.

That sucks, but it sounds like it might be an honest accident. Setting your "friend's" groin on fire when he's passed out, on the other hand, is more difficult to explain:

Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.

Labels: news, perverson

Oh boy, is this clip a find or what. Watch the Incredible Hulk fight a grizzly bear, and make sure to pay close attention at the end to see if you can spot the clever special effect they used.



Technically, Bill Bixby is no where to be found in this clip, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to link to this incredible video.

Labels: 80's, bill bixby, hulk, television, video

Big news of the day: Every media outlet in the world (seemingly) has reported that Salma Hayek has officially called off her engagement to 45-year old French billionaire, Francois-Henri Pinault.

Francois-Henri Pinault, 45 going on 75.

Money certainly makes a man more attractive... well, not to me. I'm just saying. Really.

If you think this post exists so that I can show pictures of Selma Hayek, well, you are dead wrong my friends.


Dead, dead, wrong. I really have no idea what you're talking about. This engagement news is important to me. That's why I felt the need to report it.

Labels: girls, news

What was a Hollywood guy to do during the writer’s strike. Well, if you’re Joss Whedon, you create something called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It’s a horrible name, but an awesome concept. Imagine Neil Patrick Harris as an evil scientist who takes on his arch-nemesis in a superhero musical. It’s being release in three acts, and acts 1 and 2 are currently available on www.DrHorrible.com.

And, of course, the trailer...

Labels: humor, nph, video

Before his pop culture defining role as the Hulk, Bill Bixby starred in a short running series in the early 70's called The Magician. Bixby was an amateur magician himself, so he really must have enjoyed himself on this show. Here is Bixby's opening to the show.

Labels: 70's, bill bixby, television

What would a Chuck Norris video game look like? I’d imagine it’d look kind of like this:



Super Chuck Norris Brothers would pretty much be the best game ever created. “Chuck Norris doesn’t need mushrooms! Chuck Norris needs a shotgun!”

And not surprisingly, a playable demo version of the game has been created, so you can blow up Koopas with a bazooka just like Chuck Norris would. You can download Super Chuck Norris Brothers here. I haven’t personally had a chance to download it, but Chad of ripten did and says its virus free.

Labels: chuck norris, video games

It might be time to hand over that t-shirt.

Labels: news, perverson

Or maybe the question should be how long will studios keep making movies starring Eddie Murphy? After his latest movie, Meet Dave, made $5.3 million opening weekend while costing about $75 million to make, the answer has to be not much longer, right?

Of course, I originally thought Eddie Murphy was done as an actor when The Adventures of Pluto Nash came out. That movie makes Dave look like a blockbuster. Nash opened to $2.2 million in 2002 and made $4.4 million total in the US after costing about $100 million to make. I remember thinking to myself that that was the end of Murphy as an actor, and yet, here we are in 2008 and he’s still pumping out crap every year.

And – good news - We have at least three more movies to look forward to from Murphy: 2009’s A Thousand Words and NowhereLand and 2010’s The Incredible Shrinking Man.

Labels: box office, celebrities, movies

And his first target is Congress. Watch out bitches:

Bottom line: It is "we the People" who have power over the government, not them over us. They are called to protect our pursuit of life, liberty and happiness, not vice versa. And if they don't, the Declaration of Independence states, in no uncertain terms, that we are "to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for (our) future Security."

Preach it Chuck. I think we're with you on this one. Congress needs a roundhouse kick to the collective face right about now.

Labels: chuck norris, politics

Will a blender blend Chuck Norris? I don't think so bitch.

Labels: chuck norris, video

A few hundred (million) notches below the famous Bruce Lee/Chuck Norris duel is this David Carradine vs Rick Springfield battle royal from an episode of Human Target in 1992. I never thought we'd find someone who fights slower than David Carradine, but Rick Springfield is showing us something.

Labels: 90's, carradine, celebrities, television, video

One of the greatest achievements of the Youtube era is the fact that we can now watch full episodes of the Incredible Hulk from the comfort of our own bean bag chairs while digging our meaty paws into another bag of orangey-delicious Cheetos. God bless this world.

In this episode:

"...a mysterious gas cannister on a US army base causes some people, including Banner to go blind and rouge generals try to get it back to cover it up....Then Hulk mayhem ensues!!!"

Part 1:



Part 2:

Labels: 80's, bill bixby, hulk, television

A day we don’t get to hear Jean-Claude Van Damme speak is like a summer day without hearing the birds singing, we can all sense that something is missing. Thanks to an article on contactmusic.com (via New York Entertainment), today my friends, our day is complete. In the short interview Van Damme provided, we get the following quotes from The Muscles From Brussels:

“...my movies are very international. I’m a brand name. Van Damme is like Levi's."

"A day doesn’t go past when I’m not recognized,"

"I've made 36 movies in 20 years and I overacted a lot in my early career. So it's very difficult for me to look at myself in those early movies."

Classic Van Damme. Also classic Van Damme:



And if you happen to be in Galway, Ireland this weekend, you can see Jean Claude’s new movie – JCVD – at the 20th Galway Film Fleadh. I’ll give you 10 guesses what the title of his movie stands for...

Labels: movies, van damme

Say you’re buying some crack cocaine and get robbed of your money by some unscrupulous drug dealer in the process. What would be the first thing you’d do? Vigilante justice? Cut your losses and try to buy some more crack? Well, if you’re Max Minnefield, you’d call the cops to report a robbery.

That’s awesome. I wonder what that phone call was like.

Officer: Hello.
Max: Yes, I’ve just been robbed
Officer: Are you in any physical harm?
Max: No.
Officer: Good. Now, what was taken?
Max: $8
Officer: $8? Ok. What happened?
Max: ...
Officer: Where were you during this robbery?
Max: ...
Officer: In order to file a report, I need to know what happened.
Max: Well, it all started when I was buying some crack...

Labels: news, nonsense, perverson

Some of David Banner’s best hulk outs from season 3 of the Incredible Hulk. They really give you an idea how often producers went dipped into the well of “extreme close-ups” for the hulking out scenes. And you’ve got to feel bad for Banner, he must go through about 200 pairs of boots a year. That can’t good on the old clothing budget.

Labels: bill bixby, hulk, television, video

What’s not to love about Natalie Portman? She’s insanely beautiful, an extremely talented actress, and insanely beautiful. Ok, she may be a little too intelligent; as she can speak like 6 languages and graduated from Harvard. A girl like that wouldn’t go slum diving, even in my most exciting dreams.

Best Movie: With the risk of sounding like some kind of child stalker, it’s The Professional, which currently sits at #38 on IMDB’s top 250 films. Not only is it an amazing film about a professional assassin and his 12 year old neighbor: It has knock-it-out of the park performances by Jean Reno and Gary Oldman and Portman is phenomenal as the 12 year old neighbor. Portman has done a lot of amazing work since, but nothing is as jaw dropping as seeing her give this adult acting performance as a pre-teen.

Also mad props to V for Vendetta, which is a powerful film that contains a great performance by Portman. I couldn’t stop thinking about the movie for a week after I saw it. That doesn’t happen to me very often.



Worst Movie: Star Wars: Episode II. Episode I was a horrible piece of elephant shit right on top of the Star Wars mythology, and while Episode II was a slightly smaller piece of shit, Portman’s role was bigger in it. Not that the train wreck was her fault by any stretch of the imagination; no amount of acting is going to save you when you have to read dialogue written by a group of untrained orangutans. Case in point:

Padme: I do not like this idea of hiding.
Anakin: Sometimes we must do what is requested of us.

Really, George Lucas? Star Wars is your career, your legacy, your everything and that’s the best you could do. Really?


Interesting Fact: How time will change even the most steadfast of things. Earlier in her career, Portman was totally against doing nude scenes, going so far as to say:

"Also I don't like anything that exploits young women. Yes, nudity can be really artistic and really beautiful, but I don't think we need to see young people naked. I'm not trying to censor or criticize anyone, but it's difficult for me to watch. I wonder if someone else decided for that young person that he or she would get naked.”

So, it came as a little bit of a surprise when she did her first nude scene in Wes Anderson’s short film, Hotel Chevalier, which was a prologue to The Darjeeling Limited. Her change of heart is our gain.

Labels: girls, movies

This should bring back memories: The old introduction to the Incredible Hulk TV show.



Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Labels: 80's, bill bixby, hulk, television

And why didn’t I become a scientist?

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University recently completed a two year study on the psychological effect that magic mushrooms have on human beings. The research was conducted by giving psilocybin to 36 volunteers and then asking them how it felt. This research is also commonly done at every single college in the world 7 days a week.

Anyway, according to the researchers:

"Even at the 14-month follow-up, 58 percent of 36 volunteers rated the experience on the psilocybin session as among the five most personally meaningful experiences of their lives and 67 percent rated it among the five most spiritually significant experiences of their lives.”

So, there you go. Hallucinogens are good. At least science tells us so.*

* There may have been some caveats and warnings in their findings. I didn’t get much past the word mushrooms in the article.

Labels: news, perverson

It's a problem we've all faced one time in our lives. What do you do when you can't find a baby sitter and you need a new pack of smokes at the gas station? Well, the problem solving man sticks his kids in a cage in the back of his truck so they can't get away while he runs into the store.

It's so obvious, I can't believe I didn't think of it first.

Labels: news, perverson

From the latest issue of "stuff you didn't know you needed to know until you knew it."

Poll: Obama beats McCain as barbecue guest

Who the hell comes up this this stuff and can we make them stop?

Labels: nonsense, politics