Empty Threats
I recently received an email from blog co-contributor, Maximus. Like most of his verbal and non-verbal exchanges, it began with the threat of violence:
Pleasant intro, huh? Now, typically, when someone threatens me (which happens a lot, just trust me) I don’t get scared because I’m like Steven Segal with the slow-mo kung-fu action. But the Maximus’s threat is particularly laughable because I know for a fact that he swings a bat like he’s catching butterflies with his sister. Maybe if I could put my face on a little league baseball tee, he might have a shot at it, but he’d likely be swinging a wiffleball bat or the aforementioned butterfly net. You know… something he likes to get his hands around. Like a penis.
It hurts because it’s true.
-Biggs
We've been playing a little phone tag. I'm gonna play some aluminum bat tag with your face
Pleasant intro, huh? Now, typically, when someone threatens me (which happens a lot, just trust me) I don’t get scared because I’m like Steven Segal with the slow-mo kung-fu action. But the Maximus’s threat is particularly laughable because I know for a fact that he swings a bat like he’s catching butterflies with his sister. Maybe if I could put my face on a little league baseball tee, he might have a shot at it, but he’d likely be swinging a wiffleball bat or the aforementioned butterfly net. You know… something he likes to get his hands around. Like a penis.
It hurts because it’s true.
-Biggs
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