THE BUMRUSH

If you have any interest in baseball (and if you likes your HGH like I likes me HGH, then I knows you do), Fire Joe Morgan is one of the funniest, most interesting, most readable, most greatest sites out there. And in one of their recent articles, they breakdown this ridiculous article in the New York Post that attempts to refute a scientific study which determined that Derek Jeter was the worst fielding shortstop in the league.

An excerpt from Fire Joe Morgan (NY Post’s crap in italics)

researchers concluded that Alex Rodriguez was one of the best shortstops in the game when he played for the Texas Rangers.

This is an interesting finding. I wish I knew more about how the study worked. Just kidding: give me what Mike Birch has to say on the matter. Mike Birch works at Lids, the hat store.

"I don't know what they're smoking down at Penn," said Yankees fan Mike Birch, 32.

Take that, complex statistical study. Birch is insightful and funny. One time he sold me a sweet lid with the Under Armor logo on it. "I don't know what they're smoking"! Classic. Classic Birch.

"It's ridiculous," said fan Jay Ricker, 22. "Jeter is all-around awesome.

"I agree," said Science, 424. "Fuck me, that is a good argument. I might as well not exist. That's it. I'm taking 500 Darvocets. Humans, welcome your new overlord, Jay Ricker, 22. He is all-around awesome."

Ricker added that "A-Rod's only out for the money. For him it's not about baseball, it's just about banking."

Studies have shown that A-Rod is, incidentally, the league's best banker. A lot of people don't know this, but he was heavily recruited by Blackstone and Goldman coming out of high school. Jeter is genetically incapable of using an ATM; he in fact only understands those letters to be the abbreviation for ass to mouth.

Labels: humor, sports