The Batman Movies – Ranked!
7. Batman & Robin (1997) – After years of therapy, I’ve successfully blocked most of this movie from my memories, but I sort of remember something about nipples and some kind of weird love triangle involving Poison Ivy. There might have been an albino Arnold Schwarzenegger running around somewhere in this mess too, I don’t care to delve any deeper. Plus, some strong demerits for this movie for effectively destroying Hollywood comic book movies for the next 5 years.
Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom.
6. Batman Forever (1995) – I was pretty excited when I heard that Jim Carrey was going to be starring in this movie as the Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones is a solid professional too, right? Unfortunately, Joel Schumacher took a large, stinking crap on the franchise turning it into a joke and removing everything serious and believable out of the series. Batman Forever plays like a bad parody of a comic book movie. I haven’t seen this movie in years, but the thing I remember most about this movie is Tommy Lee Jones doing some serious overacting as Two Face. Even as a teenager I thought that character was ridiculous.
5. Batman: The Movie – POW! BAM! Adam West as Batman. Hey, it was total camp, but it was a hell of a lot more fun than Joel Schumacher’s Batman. Bonus points for always having the four villains (Joker, Riddler, Penquin, and Catwoman) hanging out and scheming against Batman and Robin together like they were old friends. I always enjoyed that.
4. Batman Returns (1992) – I’m not a fan of the Penguin as a Batman villain, usually because he sucks in pretty much every way imaginable and is a complete loser. But, hey, Danny DeVito played him to a T. And Michelle Pfeiffer was smoking hot as Catwoman – you cannot convince me otherwise of that. The plot of the movie is a little strange due to its focus on the Penguin and him running for major, but I could watch Catwoman all day and be happy.
3. Batman (1989) – Say Batman and Batman Returns were never made by Tim Burton. They never existed. Then you told me that you were going to make a Batman movie and cast Michael Keaton as Batman. I would probably kick you in the balls and mercilessly taunt you to the end of existence. But hey, it worked. Keaton was a hell of a good Batman. And of course, until Heath Ledger one upped him, Nicholson’s Joker defined what a Batman villain was supposed to be.
2. Batman Begins (2005) – I’m a sucker for superhero origin stories (Superman, Spiderman, I even liked the beginning of the Fantastic Four until it went to suck) and Batman Begins delivered on all aspects of how Batman... uh... began. Seeing the beginnings of the bat cave and all the bat tools was pretty sweet as well. Plus, if there was an actor born to play Batman, it was Christian Bale, who even pulls off Bruce Wayne as well as Batman. The movies only demerits are for Katie Homes as Rachel Dawes. And the scarecrow was kind of a wuss.
1. The Dark Knight (2008) – I don’t see how a better Batman movie could be made. It had an incredible story, solid-to-spectacular performances all around (the only weak link being Maggie Gyllenhaal – who was meh), emotion, and action throughout the entire movie. Bonus points for being really funny in parts too, which many a Batman has tried with so-so results.
Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom.
6. Batman Forever (1995) – I was pretty excited when I heard that Jim Carrey was going to be starring in this movie as the Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones is a solid professional too, right? Unfortunately, Joel Schumacher took a large, stinking crap on the franchise turning it into a joke and removing everything serious and believable out of the series. Batman Forever plays like a bad parody of a comic book movie. I haven’t seen this movie in years, but the thing I remember most about this movie is Tommy Lee Jones doing some serious overacting as Two Face. Even as a teenager I thought that character was ridiculous.
5. Batman: The Movie – POW! BAM! Adam West as Batman. Hey, it was total camp, but it was a hell of a lot more fun than Joel Schumacher’s Batman. Bonus points for always having the four villains (Joker, Riddler, Penquin, and Catwoman) hanging out and scheming against Batman and Robin together like they were old friends. I always enjoyed that.
4. Batman Returns (1992) – I’m not a fan of the Penguin as a Batman villain, usually because he sucks in pretty much every way imaginable and is a complete loser. But, hey, Danny DeVito played him to a T. And Michelle Pfeiffer was smoking hot as Catwoman – you cannot convince me otherwise of that. The plot of the movie is a little strange due to its focus on the Penguin and him running for major, but I could watch Catwoman all day and be happy.
3. Batman (1989) – Say Batman and Batman Returns were never made by Tim Burton. They never existed. Then you told me that you were going to make a Batman movie and cast Michael Keaton as Batman. I would probably kick you in the balls and mercilessly taunt you to the end of existence. But hey, it worked. Keaton was a hell of a good Batman. And of course, until Heath Ledger one upped him, Nicholson’s Joker defined what a Batman villain was supposed to be.
2. Batman Begins (2005) – I’m a sucker for superhero origin stories (Superman, Spiderman, I even liked the beginning of the Fantastic Four until it went to suck) and Batman Begins delivered on all aspects of how Batman... uh... began. Seeing the beginnings of the bat cave and all the bat tools was pretty sweet as well. Plus, if there was an actor born to play Batman, it was Christian Bale, who even pulls off Bruce Wayne as well as Batman. The movies only demerits are for Katie Homes as Rachel Dawes. And the scarecrow was kind of a wuss.
1. The Dark Knight (2008) – I don’t see how a better Batman movie could be made. It had an incredible story, solid-to-spectacular performances all around (the only weak link being Maggie Gyllenhaal – who was meh), emotion, and action throughout the entire movie. Bonus points for being really funny in parts too, which many a Batman has tried with so-so results.
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I agree with Batman being number 3. Good call. I think a lesser man would have bowed to the campy Adam West version as some kind of "classic".
But I disagree that there can't be a better Batman movie. Frank Miller has some serious plots, and Tim Sale and Jeph Loeb are a combination not to be fucked with. They could make some serious awesomeness from the Hush series. And what a great way to introduce Robin- as an already resurrected symbol and dead guy.
Posted by
Sean! |
8/04/2008 12:32 PM