All Your Stalls Are Belong to Us: The Toilet Paper Wars Have Begun
According to this article, “toilet paper researchers” at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute have recently created the world’s first 3-ply toilet-paper. Yes, that is correct. There are such things as toilet paper researchers and they have been busy like Frankenstein making obscene toilet-paper creations in their horrible labs. It actually reminds me of this old Onion article: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
We quietly await to hear news about the world’s first 4-ply toilet-paper...
Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades
We quietly await to hear news about the world’s first 4-ply toilet-paper...
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