THE BUMRUSH

If you’re anything like me, you probably rolled out of bed at 10am this morning, vigorously adjusted your junk, wiped the drool off your face, and thought, “Hey, I wonder what Chuck Norris is up to?”

Good question my friend. And it shouldn’t be at all surprising to find out he’s been quite busy recently, even for a Demigod. First, it’s a good day to be Ian Spector, creator of Chuck Norris Facts. Norris reported dropped his lawsuit against Spector, for reasons that are only known to Norris’ right foot. I’d take extra time to smell the flowers today, Ian. Not many men cross Chuck Norris and live to tell of it.

Norris then took time to meet High School senior Vilius Bruzas in Powhatan, Virginia. Bruzas is confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy and counts Delta Force among his favorite movies (no offense, but who doesn’t). On a scale of one to ten, Bruzas said about the day, “I give it a 10.” Chuck Norris then gave the day an 11.


Finally, Norris has joined with American Solutions for Winning the Future to launch a campaign with the goal of forcing Congress to drill for oil within US borders and territorial waters. I’m sorry Alaska. Chuck Norris is coming for your oil and there is nothing you can do to stop him. In fact, he’s getting ready to personally drill in the Alaskan wildlife preserve using a single plastic spork.

From the mouth of Norris himself:

We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices) by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries.

Preach the word, Norris. We're ready to listen.

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