You can't stop it. You can't even hope to contain it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Jason Bateman Wants You to Know He’s Better than You
Jason Bateman – of Arrested Development fame – failed to make some new friends in LA last week after cutting approximately 2,000 people in line waiting for the new iPhone 4. Bateman at first joined the regular line to wait with the rest of the peons, but was then led into the store in front of everyone else by a group of employees. The nerd-rage quickly followed:
“Everyone literally started booing and hissing...” And Bateman’s reaction? “He put his head down,”
“I heard commotion in the back. I thought someone was fighting,” Mayhew said. “Then he strolls right on by with the Genius Bar guys and suddenly people in my area started to yell, 'What the hell is going on?'" Mayhew said the murmurs escalated with “passive-aggressive anger.”
Nothing says nerd rage like passive-aggressive anger... Bateman had a different account of the event via his twitter account, but then later apologized for his actions, because you know, he knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he could care less about offending your feelings, because he’s rich, famous and now has a new iPhone. And your still waiting in line.
The band Broken Bells (a side project of Danger Mouse and James Mercer of The Shins) scored big time recently with their latest video for “The Ghost Inside” by getting the absolutely smoking hot Mad Men star Christina Hendricks to play a gorgeous android in their video.
How did the relatively unknown band make it happen? They simply asked her to do it and she said yes. Fuck dude. That's all it takes. i really have to start reevaluating my life.
Here is the video if you are interested in seeing the final product.
You know the story - and sadly it's one we've seen before and will see again. The heyday of Haim was ever so slightly before my formative years, but man, how could you be swayed by the power of the Corey/Corey combo?
Lindsay Lohan sues E-Trade over 'milkaholic' in talking baby commercial
In the world of frivolous lawsuits this one takes the cake:
Lindsay Lohan apparently filed a $100 million lawsuit earlier this week against E-Trade for a Super Bowl commercial that they aired about a milkaholic baby named Lindsay. She (and by that I mean her lawyer) citied that she is a one-named celebrity along the likes of Oprah, Madonna, or Borat and that the ad used her name to parody her life and profit off of it.
I mean, how could you not have that opinion after watching the ad? If I had one wish in this world, it'd be that Lindsay Lohan go back a few years to when she was just hot and didn't have to comment on what was going on in this world... and that she and I were friends with benefits. Very dirty benefits.
Or maybe the question should be how long will studios keep making movies starring Eddie Murphy? After his latest movie, Meet Dave, made $5.3 million opening weekend while costing about $75 million to make, the answer has to be not much longer, right?
Of course, I originally thought Eddie Murphy was done as an actor when The Adventures of Pluto Nash came out. That movie makes Dave look like a blockbuster. Nash opened to $2.2 million in 2002 and made $4.4 million total in the US after costing about $100 million to make. I remember thinking to myself that that was the end of Murphy as an actor, and yet, here we are in 2008 and he’s still pumping out crap every year.
And – good news - We have at least three more movies to look forward to from Murphy: 2009’s A Thousand Words and NowhereLand and 2010’s The Incredible Shrinking Man.
A few hundred (million) notches below the famous Bruce Lee/Chuck Norris duel is this David Carradine vs Rick Springfield battle royal from an episode of Human Target in 1992. I never thought we'd find someone who fights slower than David Carradine, but Rick Springfield is showing us something.
Just missing the list: Charlie O'Connell, Ben Savage.
6. Andrew Wilson
You know Luke and Owen, but do you know Andrew? Let’s see, he appeared with Owen in the movies Bottle Rocket, Zoolander, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Big Bounce. He has appeared with Luke in Rushmore, Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Mike Judge's Idiocracy. I will say that his role as gladiator Beef Supreme in Idiocracy was pretty sweet. And he got a huge 5 minutes of screen time in that role. I would assume that’s a record for him.
5. Omar Gooding
Unlike some of the people on this list, Omar has carved out a semi-respectable career for himself, mostly as a TV actor, making guest appearances on CSI: Miami, Deadwood, and one of the all time classics, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper. He had a regular part of the short lived Playmakers on ESPN, was one of the hosts of my fourth favorite kids’ show of all time (Wild and Crazy Kids) and played Stuart in Ghost Dad. He also cleans up pretty well. That’s a career the rest of the guys on the list would kill for.
Bonus points for the fact that he shares a close resemblance with his brother. Plus, the way Cuba’s career is headed, we might see Cuba switch places with Omar in a few years.
4. Michael Bacon
Michael does hold a degree in music and is a musician and composer in his own right, but his “fame” comes from three little words: “The Bacon Brothers,” a musical group he formed with – surprise – his brother Kevin. I have never heard the Bacon Brothers play, but I can imagine the awesomeness of an event like that. According to pictures on their website, it appears that they both play the guitar and, sadly, they have an entire band that accompanies them. I was disappointed with that fact. One hopes that they forced the band to change all their last names to Bacon.
3. Don Swayze
Now the list gets down to business. The younger brother of Patrick Swayze also gets bonus points for his huge carny-esqe resemblance to his older brother. His IMDB page is a testament to the fact that, yes, a person can make a living off guest appearances on television shows. I would even know where to begin... Tremors (the TV version), Walker Texas Ranger, The New Dragnet, L.A. Law, Matlock, Murder, She Wrote, CSI, something called Street Hawk. Hell, he even played Jessie James in an episode of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (I can see the resemblance). I could go on for another 10 paragraphs, I really could. Just know that Don Swayze is what would have happened to Patrick Swayze if he wasn’t good looking (I’m talking about 20 years ago, not now).
2. Daniel Baldwin
Up until I was 18, I didn’t know Daniel Baldwin existed. I thought he was Alec Baldwin and I would say to myself, “man, that Alec Baldwin is everywhere.” Clearly, he’s had the least successful acting career of the Baldwin brothers, but he has been in some respectable stuff, like Mulholland Falls and one of my favorite movies of all time, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (seriously, watch this movie with friends. You won’t be disappointed). But Baldwin is #2 on this list thanks to his completely embarrassing 4-episode run on VH1’s reality series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2007. He was a complete train-wreck on that show, and it was impossible not to watch self-destruct.
1. Frank Stallone
A musician and actor, I don’t think Frank Stallone will ever be topped as a celebrity brother. He can pretty much thank Sly for everything he has professionally. For example, Frank wrote songs for the following movies: Rocky II, Rocky III, Staying Alive, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Over the Top, Rocky V, and Rocky Balboa. He also appeared in the following movies: Rocky, Paradise Alley, Rocky II, Rocky III, Staying Alive, Get Carter, and Rocky Balboa. Not to say the guy isn’t talented in his own right, but that list looks a little fishy. Frank is on tour now with his aptly named band, the Frank Stallone Band. Here’s his song from Staying Alive, Far From Over:
Comedian George Carlin died on Sunday of apparent heart failure. Carlin was best known for his comedy performances and albums, but here at THE BUMRUSH, we'll always remember Carlin as the wise time traveler Rufus in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.
Rufus was awesome and he'll be missed.
Rufus: Hi. Welcome to the future. San Dimas, California, 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean. The water's clean. Even the dirt... is clean. Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great. But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two on the correct path, the basis of our society will be in danger. Don't worry. It'll all make sense. I'm a professional.
Where in the World is Chuck Norris? Oh, Right. Everywhere.
If you’re anything like me, you probably rolled out of bed at 10am this morning, vigorously adjusted your junk, wiped the drool off your face, and thought, “Hey, I wonder what Chuck Norris is up to?”
Good question my friend. And it shouldn’t be at all surprising to find out he’s been quite busy recently, even for a Demigod. First, it’s a good day to be Ian Spector, creator of Chuck Norris Facts. Norris reported dropped his lawsuit against Spector, for reasons that are only known to Norris’ right foot. I’d take extra time to smell the flowers today, Ian. Not many men cross Chuck Norris and live to tell of it.
Norris then took time to meet High School senior Vilius Bruzas in Powhatan, Virginia. Bruzas is confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy and counts Delta Force among his favorite movies (no offense, but who doesn’t). On a scale of one to ten, Bruzas said about the day, “I give it a 10.” Chuck Norris then gave the day an 11.
Finally, Norris has joined with American Solutions for Winning the Future to launch a campaign with the goal of forcing Congress to drill for oil within US borders and territorial waters. I’m sorry Alaska. Chuck Norris is coming for your oil and there is nothing you can do to stop him. In fact, he’s getting ready to personally drill in the Alaskan wildlife preserve using a single plastic spork.
From the mouth of Norris himself:
We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices) by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries.
I really had no idea that Kiefer Sutherland has been in jail the past 48 days on a drunken-driving charge and violation of his probation. According to this article, he's spent his sentence cleaning sheets, pillowcases and blankets on laundry duty. No word on whether he was able to bring his dog or giant rocking chair with him to jail.
Actor DAVID HASSELHOFF wishes he'd romantically pursued "friend" DIANA, PRINCESS OF WALES while she was alive, because they "clicked" when they met. The 53-year-old star recounts his meeting with the royal in his new autobiography MAKING WAVES. Hasselhoff says, "I could sense her pain. I always admired her. I probably would have gone after her if circumstances had been different. In the end I just wanted to be a friend and to hang out with her. She looked like she really needed a friend and we really clicked."
Remember to raise your child the right way, the Red Sox way:
Actor and baseball enthusiast BEN AFFLECK has signed on to narrate a quirky new Boston Red Sox DVD aimed at turning young children into die-hard fans. RED SOX BABY: RAISING TOMORROW'S BOSTON RED SOX FAN TODAY is an educational film, which also prepares infants and pre-school children to become Red Sox fans.
It will likely be Ben Affleck's best film since... ever.
So, what is the Hoff up to these days. Well, when not starring on his own ridiculously pointless website, WaxHoff, he's starring in an online game called Boff the Hoff, the purpose of which is smack him as hard in the face as possible (sounds about right). In his down time, the Hoff enjoys dressing himself in women's ball gowns and feigning the game of golf.
And, finally, I thought I had come across the motherload when I found Hasselhoff's blog on NBC. Unfortunately, it hasn't been updated in about 8 months and it doesn't contain anything of interest anyway, expect for the fact that he signs off using the handle "the Hoff".
It was Walt Disney Co.'s biggest March opening ever. It was also the largest-ever debut for the 53-year-old Travolta
Biggest debut for John Travolta? Pulp Fiction? Face/Off? Battlefield Earth? Look Who's Talking Too? Really? None of those movies had a bigger opening than Wild Hogs?
More leather than the hairest S&M Convention Ever Concieved
In related news, "Eddie Murphy's "Norbit" continued to draw crowds, placing sixth in its fourth week of release with a $6.4 million take that boosted its cumulative tally to $83 million." It is on it's way to becoming Eddie Murphy's biggest grossing movie ever.
Speaking of Salma Hayek, here's the original scene in From Dusk Till Dawn that made everyone go crazy. I still remember being disappointed by this movie after Pulp Fiction, but certainly not by Hayek.
Much like a shape-changing giant mecha robot, our powers are indeed mighty when combined
About The Men
"Getting in shape for this role, which is incredibly demanding, vocally, has been a lot of hard work, but I'm nailing it. I'm even kind of, at times, blowing my own mind, because I am even able to talk right now."
-David Hasselhoff
"In December, I am going to Vietnam with my favorite charity, Wheels for Humanity."
-David Hasselhoff
Jason Bateman – of Arrested Development fame – failed to make some new friends in LA last week after cutting approximately 2,000 people in line waiting for the new iPhone 4. Bateman at first joined the regular line to wait with the rest of the peons, but was then led into the store in front of everyone else by a group of employees. The nerd-rage quickly followed:
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