THE BUMRUSH

Man whose penile implant malfunctioned wins $400,000 in lawsuit.

And, in case you were wondering, it resulted in a 10-year (and counting!) erection. No Viagra needed for this man.

Labels: perverson

The True Players have arrived in a neatly folded, single serving digitalized package for your entertainment consumption. And unlike my package, it's both funny and only a few minutes in length. And it smells nothing like mayonnaise. Big props to the Pimp Daddy for getting the True Players up and running when his time could be spent tending to the hos instead.


What is the True Players? Its sketch comedy performed with absolutely no budget whatsoever using mostly borrowed equipment and props and whatever can be found in our closets. We even get kicked out of malls in order to truly express the art that flows directly from our mouths into the camera. Still, the True Players is tasty little treat. Next up for the True Players? Stay tuned (can someone stay tuned on the Internet? Fuck it, I want you to stay tuned anyway) and see...

You can check out one of my favorite skits, with a mad crazy handsome lead, Fall. Or check out the True Players on YouTube. Or just check it.

Labels: shoutouts, video

Mario.. and.. Luigi.

nintendo rules my life.
why, oh, why, must new mario games exist?
the plumber who eats "magic" mushrooms plagues my dreams.
Buy the new game! save the princess!
no one ever mentions luigi, so i will.
luigi. he owns a mansion. he busts ghosts like an italian peter vankman.
mario & luigi, superstar saga.. one of the best RPG's ever made..
i let someone borrow it and i never got it back.
but at least luigi finally got some credit, from the show stealin' mario.
the mario that is all at once super, and... ...mario.



My Hero.

don't eat random mushrooms, they say..
why not? mario does, I say.
don't kick turtles, they didn't do anything to you, they say..
why not? mario does, I say.
don't play with fire, they say..
why not? mario does, I say.
who is this mario.. he is a bad influence, they say.
then I throw a turtle shell at them, bounce on their heads, and eat some mushrooms.
mario is my hero, I say.

Labels: bumrush, pimp daddy

As I'm sure everyone knows by now, Superman Returns is only weeks away from hitting the screen in full force. I was ready to give up on this movie because of all the false starts and other crap that it had to go through to actually get made (for a sample of it, check out IMDb). I've done many dances of joy for the fact that Superman didn't turn out to be a Tim Burton movie written by Kevin Smith. As much as I like both of them normally, it just would have been too... strange for my tastes. Let's leave the dark and brooding to Batman.

If, like me, you're in need of a Superman Returns fix, check out some early press screening reviews at Rotten Tomatoes. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! Reading any of the reviews will offically get you way too psyched about the movie before realizing that it is still two weeks away from release. Man, I hate when I do that to myself.

Labels: movies

I told you I would return with a post of everyone's favorite actor/anti-christ/breakfast sausage pioneer. Keanu Reeves. Mr. Reeves self-proclaims that he has "beaten" the world of acting, and what is the next logical step? Breakfast Sausage! Don't believe me? Watch the video.

Labels: pimp daddy, video

The Pimp is Thrilled. Transformers: The Movie.. 4th of July 2k7.

The Facts:

Micheal Bay Directs. (The Island, The Rock, Armageddon)
Ian Bryce Produces. (Twister, The Island, Spiderman)
Mitchell Amundsen works the Cinematography. (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Based on Generation One Transformers. (The Old School is the Best School)
And last, but most spectacularly not least: STEPHEN SPIELBURG is the Executive Producer! (Way too much stuff to mention.. c'mon.. you know who Speilburg is)

The Speculation:

This is going to be the sweetest movie ever made. (maybe this should actually be under facts)

The original voice actors from the cartoon series will reprise their roles of Optimus Prime and Megatron. This is good news, because as everyone knows, only Peter Cullen and Frank Welker can honestly duplicate the sound of transforming alien robots from the past...

The release date is July 4, 2k7; Though, as we all know.. this could easily be pushed around due to filming deadlines.. but if it holds.. WHAT A WAY FOR THE PIMP TO SPEND THE FO' OF JULY!

Well... I know this may not have been the funniest thing you have read on the BUMRUSH in a while.. but sometimes we need to share with the world things that are truly important. As we have seen recently, Chuck Norris is important.. Pimpin' is important, and yes.. You knowing that the sweetest movie to ever be made will, indeed, be about giant transforming robots waging a war on earth. Yes. Truly important.

I will post again soon, about everyone's favorite actor (or everyone's favortive anti-christ) Keanu. (who, from everything I can gather.. is NOT AT ALL in Transformers: The Movie)

Labels: pimp daddy, rumors