THE BUMRUSH

Bill Bixby For Sanhedrin in the Kentucky Fried Movie (go watch this movie if you've never seen it):

Labels: 70's, bill bixby, humor, movies

Just missing the list: Charlie O'Connell, Ben Savage.

6. Andrew Wilson


You know Luke and Owen, but do you know Andrew? Let’s see, he appeared with Owen in the movies Bottle Rocket, Zoolander, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Big Bounce. He has appeared with Luke in Rushmore, Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Mike Judge's Idiocracy. I will say that his role as gladiator Beef Supreme in Idiocracy was pretty sweet. And he got a huge 5 minutes of screen time in that role. I would assume that’s a record for him.




5. Omar Gooding


Unlike some of the people on this list, Omar has carved out a semi-respectable career for himself, mostly as a TV actor, making guest appearances on CSI: Miami, Deadwood, and one of the all time classics, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper. He had a regular part of the short lived Playmakers on ESPN, was one of the hosts of my fourth favorite kids’ show of all time (Wild and Crazy Kids) and played Stuart in Ghost Dad. He also cleans up pretty well. That’s a career the rest of the guys on the list would kill for.

Bonus points for the fact that he shares a close resemblance with his brother. Plus, the way Cuba’s career is headed, we might see Cuba switch places with Omar in a few years.

4. Michael Bacon

Michael does hold a degree in music and is a musician and composer in his own right, but his “fame” comes from three little words: “The Bacon Brothers,” a musical group he formed with – surprise – his brother Kevin. I have never heard the Bacon Brothers play, but I can imagine the awesomeness of an event like that. According to pictures on their website, it appears that they both play the guitar and, sadly, they have an entire band that accompanies them. I was disappointed with that fact. One hopes that they forced the band to change all their last names to Bacon.


3. Don Swayze


Now the list gets down to business. The younger brother of Patrick Swayze also gets bonus points for his huge carny-esqe resemblance to his older brother. His IMDB page is a testament to the fact that, yes, a person can make a living off guest appearances on television shows. I would even know where to begin... Tremors (the TV version), Walker Texas Ranger, The New Dragnet, L.A. Law, Matlock, Murder, She Wrote, CSI, something called Street Hawk. Hell, he even played Jessie James in an episode of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (I can see the resemblance). I could go on for another 10 paragraphs, I really could. Just know that Don Swayze is what would have happened to Patrick Swayze if he wasn’t good looking (I’m talking about 20 years ago, not now).

2. Daniel Baldwin

Up until I was 18, I didn’t know Daniel Baldwin existed. I thought he was Alec Baldwin and I would say to myself, “man, that Alec Baldwin is everywhere.” Clearly, he’s had the least successful acting career of the Baldwin brothers, but he has been in some respectable stuff, like Mulholland Falls and one of my favorite movies of all time, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (seriously, watch this movie with friends. You won’t be disappointed). But Baldwin is #2 on this list thanks to his completely embarrassing 4-episode run on VH1’s reality series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2007. He was a complete train-wreck on that show, and it was impossible not to watch self-destruct.

1. Frank Stallone

A musician and actor, I don’t think Frank Stallone will ever be topped as a celebrity brother. He can pretty much thank Sly for everything he has professionally. For example, Frank wrote songs for the following movies: Rocky II, Rocky III, Staying Alive, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Over the Top, Rocky V, and Rocky Balboa. He also appeared in the following movies: Rocky, Paradise Alley, Rocky II, Rocky III, Staying Alive, Get Carter, and Rocky Balboa. Not to say the guy isn’t talented in his own right, but that list looks a little fishy. Frank is on tour now with his aptly named band, the Frank Stallone Band. Here’s his song from Staying Alive, Far From Over:




Still, there are perks to being Frank Stallone.

Labels: 80's, celebrities, movies

Get your Tandy 1000 now at RadioShack. It comes complete with word processing, filing, and spreadsheets!

Labels: bill bixby, television

Comedian George Carlin died on Sunday of apparent heart failure. Carlin was best known for his comedy performances and albums, but here at THE BUMRUSH, we'll always remember Carlin as the wise time traveler Rufus in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.

Rufus was awesome and he'll be missed.

Rufus: Hi. Welcome to the future. San Dimas, California, 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean. The water's clean. Even the dirt... is clean. Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great. But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two on the correct path, the basis of our society will be in danger. Don't worry. It'll all make sense. I'm a professional.

Labels: celebrities, movies, news

Wow. Just wow. Two comedies, Get Smart and the Love Guru, opened this weekend and speculation was rampant about which one would make the most money this weekend. The most common prediction I heard was that it’d be a close race as both would earn in the $35-$40 million range, but Get Smart would eek out a win over the Guru.

Well, results from the weekend are in and Get Smart held up its part of the deal, earning $39.2 million to finish the weekend at number 1. The Love Guru, however, bombed miserably. It earned only $14 million to open at number 4, behind Kung Fu Panda (in week 3) and The Incredible Hulk (in week 2).

What the hell happened to The Love Guru? The reviews were abysmal; it currently has a 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. Peter Howell of the Toronto Star and Chris Vognar of the Dallas Morning News were the only two “top” critics to give it a positive review – I’ll have what they’re smoking…

But reviews can’t explain everything. M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening didn’t fair much better (20% on Rotten Tomatoes) and it opened at $30.5 last week (only to fall 67% this weekend). Are people getting tired of Mike Myers? I doubt it. He hasn’t been in a live action movie since 2002, so it’s not like he’s shoving it down our throats like Will Ferrell or anything.

Did The Love Guru’s previews simply suck so much that they drove people away? It’s an interesting possibility. Even the worst movies (think Star Wars Episode 1) have awesome trailers that get people hyped for opening weekend. The consensus was that the Guru’s trailers looked awful. They weren’t funny and generally made the film look horrible. When a trailer undersells a movie to the point where the movie is funnier than the trailer makes it out to be, you know it’s time to fire the trailer-making dude.

The final possibility for Get Smart kicking The Love Guru’s ass this weekend would be because of the beautiful Anne Hathaway:



… I’m still trying to formulate a coherent why that would be. Give me a second…

Labels: girls, movies, news

According to the Daily Telegraph, a woman with an object fetish has "married" the Eiffel Tower.

Erika La Tour Eiffel, 37, a former soldier who lives in San Francisco, has been in love with objects before. Her first infatuation was with Lance, a bow that helped her to become a world-class archer, she is fond of the Berlin Wall and she claims to have a physical relationship with a piece of fence she keeps in her bedroom. But it is the Eiffel Tower she has pledged to love, honour and obey in an intimate ceremony attended by a handful of friends.

No word on who these friends are, but I'm sure that the Berlin Wall was in attendance. They are BFFs after all.

Labels: news, perverson

I love this story: New York man accused of hiding in woman's couch.

Police say a New York man cut a hole in a woman's couch and hid in the carved-out space until she came home. Newburgh police said the woman sat on the couch Wednesday evening and felt a bump in the cushions move. She jumped up and David Joe Limones emerged from his hiding place, knocking a cell phone out of her hand.

Really, the inside of a couch was the best hiding spot he could think of? I'm sure there was a closet in the room. Or under the bed would at least given the guy some breathing room. Also, I'd like to know how long this guy was stuck in that couch for. Was it a half an hour? Or was he stuck in there for like 8 hours while she was at work? It makes a big difference, I would assume.

Labels: news, perverson

The decade of the 1980's is aging like a fine wine. Every year we get further away from the 80's, the more unbelievable and wonderful those 10 years become. What do I mean? This Hasselhoff music video can explain things better than I can. (Try to avoid starring directly at the Hoff's jeri-mullet, it can cause permanent damage to your eyes).



In case you like your Hasselhoff with a little more island maschismo, here's the Hoff's Limbo Dance. You can almost feel Jamaica oozing from his skin.



Finally, the Hoff is crazy for you. Actually, as he mentions about 85 times, he's CRAAAAA-zy for YOU! I'm not quite sure of the meaning of the dog at the end of the video, but it does worry me a lot.

Labels: 80's, hasselhoff, hoff, humor, music, video

For those of you who have been waiting patiently for a worthy reason to vacation in Russia, you're long wait is over. A spa in Zheleznovodsk, Russia has recently erected a monument to the enema. FINALLY!


According to the article, the bronze syringe bulb weighs 800 pounds and is held by in place by three angels (a gift from the heavens?). It cost $42,000 to create and contains a banner that reads: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas."

Says the spa director, Alexander Kharchenko, "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

Almost? You guys have to try a little harder than that.

Labels: humor, news, perverson

What's not to love about Naomi Watts? A beautiful woman who can also act and isn't afraid to do nude? Sign me up for one of those!


Best Movie: Personally, I thought that Mulholland Dr. (8.0 on IMDB) was great piece of filmmaking. But for those who thought it was too confusing, 21 Grams (7.9) is also right up there and makes slightly more sense.

Worst Movie: The Ring Two (5.1). Aside from Tank Girl, which shouldn’t really count, King Kong was absolute dreck. But Watts’ performance was one of the best things in it. She had more charisma than the rest of the cast combined. So, the award goes to the idiotic and non-scary scary movie, The Ring Two.


Fun Internet Fact: Watts was born in England, but moved to Australia when she was 14. She is best friends with Nicole Kidman. Now, that is an Australian sandwich I’d like to be a part of.

Labels: girls, movies

There was a time not long ago when life didn't get any better than playing Tetris on a Nintendo Gameboy. Yes, those were much sadder times (who needs color screens? Not me thank you very much), but we can relive all those memories with Tetris, The Movie:

Labels: movies, video, video games

If you’re anything like me, you probably rolled out of bed at 10am this morning, vigorously adjusted your junk, wiped the drool off your face, and thought, “Hey, I wonder what Chuck Norris is up to?”

Good question my friend. And it shouldn’t be at all surprising to find out he’s been quite busy recently, even for a Demigod. First, it’s a good day to be Ian Spector, creator of Chuck Norris Facts. Norris reported dropped his lawsuit against Spector, for reasons that are only known to Norris’ right foot. I’d take extra time to smell the flowers today, Ian. Not many men cross Chuck Norris and live to tell of it.

Norris then took time to meet High School senior Vilius Bruzas in Powhatan, Virginia. Bruzas is confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy and counts Delta Force among his favorite movies (no offense, but who doesn’t). On a scale of one to ten, Bruzas said about the day, “I give it a 10.” Chuck Norris then gave the day an 11.


Finally, Norris has joined with American Solutions for Winning the Future to launch a campaign with the goal of forcing Congress to drill for oil within US borders and territorial waters. I’m sorry Alaska. Chuck Norris is coming for your oil and there is nothing you can do to stop him. In fact, he’s getting ready to personally drill in the Alaskan wildlife preserve using a single plastic spork.

From the mouth of Norris himself:

We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices) by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries.

Preach the word, Norris. We're ready to listen.

Labels: celebrities, chuck norris, news, video