Thursday, March 22, 2007 

Bumrush the Charts

As stated well by hypebot, Today Is They Day We Find Out If Bloggers Can Influence The iTunes Charts. Yes, as I've written before, go Bumrush the charts on itunes and buy "Mine Again" by the band San Francisco band Black Lab. Let's show those big music labels that bloggers have power too. We have power.

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9:35 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

~after the bumrush~

At THE BUMRUSH, we are for anything labeled "bumrush" and we are for awesome poetry. So, I was pretty excited when I came across a poem called "after the bumrush". Here are the first two stanzas of the poem:
She rallied herself in the a.m.
to see him, tussled and still
reeling from the eve's consumption,
she knew if she didn't arrive he'd be blue.

One shoe on, then two, haranguing
through metro doors and howling
trains. Schlepping stairs. Pressing
hard against cold winter air
Take a look at the whole thing and let us know, is it worthy of the bumrush recommendation?

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9:13 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Tap Dance

The dude has got skills, for sure.

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7:44 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 

How Not to Respect the Dead

From Contactmusic.com.
Actor DAVID HASSELHOFF wishes he'd romantically pursued "friend" DIANA, PRINCESS OF WALES while she was alive, because they "clicked" when they met. The 53-year-old star recounts his meeting with the royal in his new autobiography MAKING WAVES. Hasselhoff says, "I could sense her pain. I always admired her. I probably would have gone after her if circumstances had been different. In the end I just wanted to be a friend and to hang out with her. She looked like she really needed a friend and we really clicked."
The Hoff is a classy guy. A sexy, classy, guy.

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9:29 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 

Poor Britney Spears


She's currently in rehab in Malibu, possibly bipolar and bulimic, facing bankruptcy after spending $21 million in the past two years, having sex in bushes with a mystery man, and worst of all, possibly a crazed sugar addict! Hide the hard candies and cowtails, Britney is coming over to have sex with me in the backyard...

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9:32 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

How Not To Live to Retirement Age

Warning, I would assume that some of these people aren't around with us anymore.



If you like this kind of thing, here are Part 1 and Part 2. (I thought the cat in Part 1 was funny, but again, I hate cats).

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1:24 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

How Not to Rob a Liquor Store

I've never been dropped onto a isle of liquor, but I cold imagine it hurts like a son of a bitch.

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1:18 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

How Not to Get Laid During Spring Break


Via ExtremeFunnyPictures.

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11:44 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Monday, March 19, 2007 

How Not to Pass an Exam

It reminds me of the time the Maximus bombed his C++ programming final by answering the questions using the phrase, "I am a machine."

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9:01 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

How Not to Commit Murder

Via the great Freakonomics Blog, "If you are going to murder someone, be sure to not leave your fingerprints behind all over Google".

The woman, now on trial for murdering her husband, googled "how to commit murder", "instant poisons," "undetectable poisons," "fatal digoxin doses," and gun laws in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Ten days later, according to the state of New Jersey, the woman drugged, murdered her husband with a .38 caliber weapon, dismembered his body and placed body parts in three suitcases found in the Chesapeake Bay.

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10:00 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

How Not to do the News

Brian Collins of Ball State shows us how a highlight should not go:



KA-BOOM!! I said KA-BOOM!

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9:10 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Sunday, March 18, 2007 

Ninja Haiku

Hopefully, the Pimp Daddy will hit us up with some his masterful ninja haiku soon, but until then, a little shoutout to a website called the footnote and their ninja haiku slam. Here are a couple of their ninja haikus.

Ninja mans the grill
Mean meat cookin' mofo, yo
Silent barbecue

Sorrow and pain come
Empty space, death scent heavy
Ninja enter, poop, and leave

And finally, until we can get some of the real thing from the pimp, here's a little ninja haiku straight from the mouth of Biggs:

Ninja has feelings
Accessorizes wardrobe
Homosexual

That's good stuff. And if you can write a ninja haiku is less than 6 words, I'd like to hear it.


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12:19 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Flickr World Map


I just discovered the Flickr world map, where you can explore their entire collection of pictures using a world map interface based on the city where the pictures originated. It's the exactly the kind of thing I like to waste hours playing with. I totally wish this kind of thing existed back when I was in school because it would have made social studies way, way easier.

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11:50 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Signs of the Apocalypse #11

ESPN to televise Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament. As reported in the Miami Herald:
We kid not: ESPN agreed this week to carry the USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship this summer, presumably because the International Shuffleboard Championship wasn't available.
Also shocking - there is a USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship? Really?

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11:15 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Saturday, March 17, 2007 

Signs of the Apocalypse #10

Abercrombie & Fitch turns library into a store for itself. Seriously.

It looked a little funny to see a bunch of teenage girls walk into a library together, so I investigated further. And as you can see, I took this picture of an actual Abercrombie & Fitch, where the stone library sign was still visible above the entrance. Yes, in the future, we won't be able to read, but we'll all look damn sexy.

Click the picture for a bigger image.



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6:18 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Signs of the Apocalypse #9

3 'Jeopardy' contestants end up tied! For the first time in the shows 23 year history, all 3 contestants ended the show tied after "each answering the final question correctly in the category, "Women of the 1930s,..."
The three contestants, Jamey Kirby of Gainesville, Fla.; Anders Martinson of Union City, Calif.; and Scott Weiss of Walkersville, Md; were all declared champions and taped a rematch that will air Monday.
Provided the world does not end.

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8:41 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Providing you with some listening music on this most wonderful of holidays while you dance, dance the day away.

And, if you're still looking for some way to spend your day today, may I point you in the direction of the Top 11 Things Geeks Do on St. Patrick's Day. I plan on doing number 6 in a loop all day.
Watch the Star Trek episode where Kirk and Finnegan beat the crap out of each other.

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7:56 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Friday, March 16, 2007 

Signs of the Apocalypse #8

Pilotless Drone! From SFGate.com, this is what happens when you let newspaper readers leave audio editorials about whatever is on their mind.

The short (1 minute) podcast of utter insanity can be found here.

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3:01 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Scot Pollard - Role Model

NBA Player Scot Pollard being a role model for children around the world.

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2:57 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Thursday, March 15, 2007 

Pornography is Profitable

A website called TopTenReviews.com did a study and found that (surprise!) porn made a lot of money on the Internet. Between that and the study that found fast food makes you fat, I think everyone has learned quite a bit this week. I can't wait for the new breakthrough study that links smoking to lung cancer. According to IMDB, the "website claimed that more than $3 million is spent on pornography every second."

Sorry, everyone. I'll try to cool it down a little from now on.

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10:59 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. Showdown

Bringing you your daily fix of Knight Rider action, in between your viewings of season 1 on DVD.

Yes, it's the ultimate battle of indestructible supercars! Except that one of them is destructible, I guess. The window laser block pulled off by Hassellhoff about halfway through the video is pure gold. I'm going to go straight home and try that.



Thanks to The Knight Rider Spot, where I found the link to this video.

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9:31 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

David Hasselhoff "Secret Agent Man"

Add it to the list of ridiculous David Hasselhoff music videos. A little Secret Agent Man as only the Hoff can do. Like one of the commenters, does this video make you want to "do him"?

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9:26 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Signs of the Apocalypse: #7

The use of birth control would have been preferable. Another dad takes kids to Hooters, drives drunk
For the second time in a month, a man who told police he'd been drinking at a Hooters restaurant was arrested for drunken driving with his children.

[The man] "was unable to spell his youngest child's name and for the date of birth of the oldest he stated, `July or August something, sometime,' " the arresting officer wrote. Lucero gave his 2-year-old's date of birth as "28 or before Christmas."

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9:01 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 

Bum Rush the Charts

It shares the bumrush name, but more importantly, it shares the bumrush ideology. Bumrush the Charts is about to make a statement to the record labels about the power of blogging and podcasting. In their own words:
On March 22nd, we are going to take an indie podsafe music artist to number one on the iTunes singles charts as a demonstration of our reach to Main Street and our purchasing power to Wall Street. The track we've chosen is "Mine Again" by the band Black Lab. A band that was dropped from not just one, but two major record labels (Geffen and Sony/Epic) and in the process forced them to fight to get their own music back. We picked them because making them number one, even for just one day, will remind the RIAA record labels of what they turned their backs on - and who they ignore at their peril.
The full PDF version of what Bumrush the Charts is about can be found here.

How can we all make a difference? On March 22nd, 2007, "take 99 cents and 2 minutes of your time to join the revolution and make iTunes "Mine Again". In addition, 50% of Black Lab's earnings are going to be donated to a college scholarship fund. I'll be there.

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9:08 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Wilford Brimley - The Beetis

I came across this video a while ago, but for some reason it popped into my head today. How come I feel like I'm going to hell?

A hilarious take on Wilford Brimley's Liberty Medical commercials. Created by Nathan Eldridge of http://www.morningrise.net

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8:57 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

RED SOX BABY

Remember to raise your child the right way, the Red Sox way:
Actor and baseball enthusiast BEN AFFLECK has signed on to narrate a quirky new Boston Red Sox DVD aimed at turning young children into die-hard fans. RED SOX BABY: RAISING TOMORROW'S BOSTON RED SOX FAN TODAY is an educational film, which also prepares infants and pre-school children to become Red Sox fans.
It will likely be Ben Affleck's best film since... ever.

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8:49 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Monday, March 12, 2007 

Star Wars Gangster Rap

I was a He-uge fan of the cartoon gangsta rap a couple of years ago.



Oh yeah, that's good stuff. So, I was pretty excited when I came across a live action version of the gangster rap. From Break.com:
Someone has put together an awesome star wars gangster rap mix. I have had this stuck in my head all morning.
And this is a slightly different, but still cool version on Youtube, bitches.

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10:16 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

George Lucas Just Wet His Pants

I found the following sweet-ass video via The Movie Blog. It's a fan-made lightsaber fight, called Ryan vs Dorkman 2, that probably rivals just about anything in the actual movies.

The high quality (divx) version can be found here. I'd highly recommend it.



And by the way, if you're interested, here is the orginal Ryan vs Dorkman video right here.


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2:44 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

From the Department of the Obvious

I'm happy to see someone's working on this mystery: Frequent Fast Food Meals Increase Weight, Diabetes Risk, Study Says...

From the National Institutes of Health:
Young adults who eat frequently at fast-food restaurants gain more weight and have a greater increase in insulin resistance in early middle age
How can we protect ourselves from this epidemic?
It is important to watch carefully what you eat, especially at a fast-food restaurant.

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8:43 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Friday, March 09, 2007 

Stephen Lynch - Special Olympics

I couple weeks ago, I heard about Stephen Lynch for the first time when he appeared on the Opie and Anthony Show. Just a hilarious guy. Here is a song called Special Olympics by Stephen Lynch From "Live at the El Rey" DVD.

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11:02 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Airline Employee is Charged with Ejaculating on Passenger

It's service with a smile. From SFGate.com:
An off-duty Northwest Airlines employee was arrested after a woman on a flight from Seattle complained that the man had ejaculated on her.

According to an affidavit filed with the complaint, the woman said she was trying to sleep in her seat when the man sat down in an empty seat next to her. She said he touched her, and then got up and left. She then realized what had happened, and told flight attendants, according to the affidavit.

The crew moved the man to a seat near the front of the plane until the end of the flight. Northwest Airlines Corp. said the flight crew asked that police meet the flight from Seattle when it arrived early Monday in Minneapolis.

Whatever it takes to get a free upgrade into first class, man.

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8:23 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

300 - Sneak Peek Trailer

The early reviews are just so-so, but I'm still pretty excited about seeing 300. I'd loved Sin City, anything close to that will make me happy.


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8:10 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Man shares golf cart with bobcat

Well, it's not a cougar, but it'll have to do. Apparently, the bobcat didn't want to exit the vehicle, either:
Walter received scratches on his neck while shoving the bobcat out, necessitating a round of rabies shots, but was otherwise unhurt.

There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.

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8:35 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Thursday, March 08, 2007 

Froth on Beer: NAY!

Not surprisingly, the English are on top of one major problem affecting the majority of us: Too much head in beer. A transcript on the Local Authorities Coordinators of Regulatory Services (LACORS) website shows their studious work in that area:
In our judgement, in the light of those facts, when a customer in that area orders a pint of beer which is offered in a pint brim glass, the publican or his barmaid purports to sell not a pint of liquid beer but a full pint glass containing liquid beer and a tight creamy head...
Wowza… Did I just read the phrase tight creamy head? Let me forget that image real quickly. So, how can you tell if the head on your beer is excessive?
…a head of froth is excessive and unreasonable if the measure of draught beer does not contain a minimum of 95% liquid after the collapse of the head.
That is information I can use. And remember your rights as a customer.
…customers have a right to ask for a ´top-up´ to their delivery if they are unhappy with the amount of liquid beer they have received in their glass at the time of service.

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5:13 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Signs of the Apocalypse: #6


Signs of the Apocalypse. Literally. A great photoset of signs on Flickr.

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2:00 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Signs of the Apocalypse: #5

If she can't make it, what chance to the rest of us have? Britney Spears Struggles in Rehab:
Britney Spears spent the weekend battling her demons at Promises Treatment Center in Malibu amid reports that she's wavering in her treatment.
Meanwhile, Kevin Federline takes their children to Vegas and only parties until 3:45 in the morning.

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9:30 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 

Don't Watch This

Are you hungry? Well, watch this video and you'll be cured. It's absolutely disgusting.


For more funny videos, visit FunLOL.com!
Funny Jokes

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10:27 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Bruce Lee is the Man

Just because it is about time TheBumrush shows a little Bruce Lee action:


Bruce Lee - Catch His Speed If U Can - Click here for the most popular videos

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8:26 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Catching Up With the Hoff

So, what is the Hoff up to these days. Well, when not starring on his own ridiculously pointless website, WaxHoff, he's starring in an online game called Boff the Hoff, the purpose of which is smack him as hard in the face as possible (sounds about right). In his down time, the Hoff enjoys dressing himself in women's ball gowns and feigning the game of golf.



And, finally, I thought I had come across the motherload when I found Hasselhoff's blog on NBC. Unfortunately, it hasn't been updated in about 8 months and it doesn't contain anything of interest anyway, expect for the fact that he signs off using the handle "the Hoff".

Keep rocking, America!

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4:04 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

BUMRUSH Girl-o-the-Month: Franka Potente



I was blown away with Franka Potente the first time I saw her in Lola rennt. She's not stunningly gorgeous, but there's just something about her that's incredibly attractive no matter what role she's playing in. Plus she's German, so it's likely she could kick your ass at the same time she's turning you on. You may have also seen her in The Bourne Identity, the The Bourne Supremacy, or Blow.

Best Movie: Although I'd love the Bourne Identity as a whole, I liked Franka the most in Lola rennt
Worst Movie: Personally, none. IMDB says it's I Love Your Work, which makes sense because it prominently involves Adam Goldberg. Franka's only mistake was getting involve with that in the first place.
Completely Random Internet Fact: Kind of like George Michael, says she was discovered as an actress in a public restroom. She was in a bar when she noticed she was constantly stared at by some woman. She decided to leave but went to the restroom before. The woman followed her and again stared at her through the mirror. Suddenly she asked "How would you describe yourself in one sentence?". Turns out she was a casting agent.







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10:00 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 

Signs of the Apocalypse: #4

Biker romp 'Wild Hogs' debuts at No. 1 last week. From the article:
It was Walt Disney Co.'s biggest March opening ever. It was also the largest-ever debut for the 53-year-old Travolta
Biggest debut for John Travolta? Pulp Fiction? Face/Off? Battlefield Earth? Look Who's Talking Too? Really? None of those movies had a bigger opening than Wild Hogs?

More leather than the hairest S&M Convention Ever Concieved

In related news, "Eddie Murphy's "Norbit" continued to draw crowds, placing sixth in its fourth week of release with a $6.4 million take that boosted its cumulative tally to $83 million." It is on it's way to becoming Eddie Murphy's biggest grossing movie ever.

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8:49 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Ask A Ninja

You may already know about it, but hands down, Ask A Ninja is my favorite video podcast on the Internet. Consistently hilarious, I laugh out loud at least once every time I watch it.

The Ninja explains podcasting to people over the age of 12.

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8:47 AM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Monday, March 05, 2007 

What a Waste of Some Good Bud

It's kind of like time my friend got his dog drunk: Uncle Teaching 2 & 5-Year-Old Nephews to Smoke Pot. It gives a new meaning to the term baby-sit.

WATAUGA, Texas -- A 17-year-old faces a felony charge of injury to a child after police found a videotape that appears to show him and another man teaching his 2- and 5-year-old nephews to smoke marijuana, police said.




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9:19 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Transformers Update

I've had this draft sitting on Google's servers for like three months so I'd thought I'd just throw it out there because at least the info is still relevant. First, the Transformers trailer is up on the Yahoo! (I'm so excited!) Movies site. I don't have an HD television (donations are always welcome) so for now, nothing beats watching a movie trailer in 1080p on my 19 inch computer monitor. I could watch the Wild Hogs trailer in 1080p and it would pump me up like I'm jacked on crystal meth.

Things aren't all peaches and cream, though. Greg, of Yahoo! Movies fame, had this to say about the trailer (and I'd recommend checking out that site for more good Transformers info).

Greg's Preview

The biggest blow wasn't the hiring of Michael Bay as director (although that is a huge factor), but the screenwriting decision to center this movie around a big ensemble cast of human characters. If the word "ensemble" is going to be used in a 'Transformers' movie, it should be referring to the robots, of which there are dozens of established characters, and not to humans, as they are pretty rare in 'Transformers' lore (I can think of Spike, and the ones that were in the 'Transformers' movie; I'm sure there are others of course). This trailer tries to introduce us to all these human characters, and I'm just wondering... who cares? If humans make up more than 10% of the screen time in a movie about armies of giant robots, that's already 9% too much. :)

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7:37 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Why Did God Leave Me With No Discernable Skills?

Back when I was in the fifth grade (yeah - I hadn't dropped out of school yet), I drew a flower in art class that I thought easily made me the next Van Gogh. Well, the truth was it fucking sucked, especially compared to the milliions of people in the world with real art skills. What do I mean? Here's a high speed capture of a dude drawing John Locke from LOST:



I will now weep softly to myself on that sorry ass tulip picture.

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7:08 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

 

Signs of the Apocalypse: #3

Chimps begin to use spears to hunt for food. I don't really know what a bush baby is, but based on the name alone, I can't imagine why anybody or anything would want to hurt one of them. Kind of like a joey or a jabberwocky, if you know what I mean. And yet:

Chimpanzees have been seen using spears to hunt bush babies, U.S. researchers said on Thursday in a study that demonstrates a whole new level of tool use and planning by our closest living relatives.

Meanwhile in the world of homo sapiens, the big news is that Victoria Beckham will likely be starring in her own reality show on NBC.

Chimps 1, Humans 0.

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4:45 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

Friday, March 02, 2007 

Mmmm, tastey donuts...

Make sure to carefully look at the words in the graphic in the upper right corner. Classic...



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6:40 PM | | | [del.icio.us] | [Digg This]

True Players Media
Fricken Voltron
Much like a shape-changing giant mecha robot, our powers are indeed mighty when combined


About The Men

  • "Getting in shape for this role, which is incredibly demanding, vocally, has been a lot of hard work, but I'm nailing it. I'm even kind of, at times, blowing my own mind, because I am even able to talk right now."
    -David Hasselhoff
  • "In December, I am going to Vietnam with my favorite charity, Wheels for Humanity."
    -David Hasselhoff
  • See us Nude! Biggs, or Maximus, or the Pimp Daddy

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